I really do not want to have a job. - Spiffy Moms | chat - think

***Kristen*** · 01-06-2010, 11:46 AM

At the offset, I should say that I feel silly putting this here, as I realize this hardly qualifies as a difficulty in life.

I've had several weeks off from teaching piano for Christmas, and they were lovely weeks. I had to start back up again this week, and I really, really did not want to.

I've been teaching piano since I was 14, so that's what, 17 years now? I don't mind teaching most of the time, and a lot of the time, I do actually enjoy it.

But here's the thing...I don't WANT to be spending my time teaching piano. I want to be spending my time being a stay at home mom. I never wanted to be a work-at-home mom, but I've always had to work ever since we got married (neither of us wanted me to have to do that, but despite our frugal living, we've not had a choice).

I know that I am blessed to be able to do this only part-time, I'm blessed to be able to work at home, and I'm blessed to HAVE a job in this economy. But darn it all, I really wish I could quit!

Steve's security clearance is looking like it will be done sort of soon, so maybe, just maybe, he can make some more money when that goes through and I can stop needing to have a job.

Thanks for listening.

Shana · 01-06-2010, 12:36 PM

Kristen, I hear you

I don't like working, period. I really, really dislike having to answer to someone for what I am doing with my time. I am a VERY good employee, but I don't like it one bit. Working from home is so difficult - it is not as easy as so many people think.

I am torn from sitting here at my desk to looking across the room at the kitchen that needs to be cleaned, or the laundry that needs to be folded. And contrary to popular opinion, working from home means I AM WORKING. There is no time to do random chores

I also miss the extra free time to just hang out with my kids on a whim. I miss being a SAHM mom a lot... when Brian has been teaching for a year or two, he wants me to work part time (15/20 hours a week) and although I am looking forward to that, I still don't want to work, period.

Kristi · 01-06-2010, 12:49 PM

I can understand. I think I would feel the same way if I had a job. When people ask me if I ever plan on going back to work I really feel like I don't want to . I am so glad that we are able to do pretty well on what Tim makes so that I don't have to work

I hope that soon Steve is able to make enough money so that you can quit teaching piano and focus on being a stay at home wife and mother.

Shana · 01-06-2010, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristi

When people ask me if I ever plan on going back to work I really feel like I don't want to.

Kristi, if I hadn't screwed my life up the way that I did, I never would have gone back to work. I just had no desire, and love being a SAHM mom SO much. I'm just thankful that I am still able to be at home with the kids. Working outside of the home, I am sure, would kill me

***Brooke*** · 01-06-2010, 01:44 PM

I don't want to have to have a job either.

But I still want to work. I just wish there was a choice in the matter.

Seriously though, I think I'll always want to work, that's just part of who I am. But now that I own my own company, there is a big difference in the time commitment and I miss having the random fun times with the kids when I could take a day off "just because". Or like in the summer, I would try to work only 4 days a week to spend extra time with them. I don't think that will be happening anymore.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of money so I could work but it wouldn't be as stressful.

***Tobye*** · 01-06-2010, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brooke

Seriously though, I think I'll always want to work, that's just part of who I am. But now that I own my own company, there is a big difference in the time commitment and I miss having the random fun times with the kids when I could take a day off "just because". Or like in the summer, I would try to work only 4 days a week to spend extra time with them. I don't think that will be happening anymore.

I wish I had an unlimited supply of money so I could work but it wouldn't be as stressful.

Yeah, this. Having a business that you are totally responsible can be great because it does offer some flexibility, but at the same time, it can be completely inflexible (unflexible? Shrug.), because when it's your business, you are ultimately responsible for all of it. Which means working nights, weekends, etc. when you have to.

*Mary* · 01-06-2010, 11:14 PM

I get you, Kristen. I don't care if I never go back to work, myself. I'm not planning on it for a very long time. I adore staying home and having only myself to answer to. I think if I had to choose I'd choose working at home over working away from home but I still wouldn't like it. In some ways working at home might be worse because I could see how it would be hard to ignore all the stuff around the house you feel like you need to do so that you can concentrate on working. I think it would be way easy to get distracted.

I really hope it works out for you that you can give it up soon!

Lori · 01-07-2010, 07:33 AM

I can't blame you, at all. I'm very fortunate that Sean was able to pick up a class to teach this term, so I'm taking at least this term off, and depending on how much he makes with a postdoc and where we're living, I might not have to work. And, I'm enjoying it very much. I don't work much when I'm working--I'm just out of the house 2-3 mornings a week for 2-3 hours at a time--but course prep and grading just tend to hang over my head all the time.

I know that usually once I go a long enough period without working, I start looking forward to working again, because I do enjoy my job, but right now I really appreciate being able to be home full-time. And, I can totally understand how, with homeschooling, you'd want to not have to worry about other work. Honestly, we only spend maybe 2 hours a day doing homeschooling, but between that and just doing things with Thomas and housekeeping stuff, I find more than enough to do during the day, especially given my energy level right now.

I hope you can continue to mostly enjoy teaching piano while you have to do it and get a chance to be a full-time SAHM soon!

stormy · 01-07-2010, 08:34 AM

I'm sorry you can't make that choice, Kristin. And I think you're perfectly justified qualifying this as "life's difficulties". I think it's something most mothers struggle with in one way or another. I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately because it seems to keep coming up. I'm filling in for someone on maternity leave right now and she does not want to come back to work, but financially she has to and it's very hard for her. I feel so lucky that I was able to make the choice to stay home, even though it was difficult.
I was talking with a good friend of mine who stays home full time and she is so happy doing it. She's always been a freelancer and loved her job, but she keeps finding herself content to be home with her daughter and has no urge to pick up any jobs. Another good friend of ours is going to be taking an adjunct teaching job which will be her first working experience in years and she's really excited to be out of the house a little.
I'm happy working part time out of the house and I'm sad because my current project is ending and I don't know what I'll be doing next. I am not a fan of working from home, even when I have childcare while I'm working. I'm always amazed by people who say they love staying home with the kids all the time. My mother was one of those people. But I'm not quite that way. I love my time at home, but I love my time working too. I think I'm really, really lucky to have the situation that I have.
Kristen, I hope you can quit soon. I know you know this and appreciate it, but at least you are able to be home and homeschool your kids and you don't have to put them in daycare or leave them with a nanny.

stormy · 01-07-2010, 08:35 AM

Ew, I misspelled Kristen at the top. Sorry about that. I know how you spell your name!

***Polly*** · 01-07-2010, 09:29 AM

I understand. I like being busy (I take after my Grandma Papp) but I like being able to choose how to be busy.

I miss teaching but I have a feeling that I will be a paranoid wreck, missing Elizabeth and home, when I go back.

For now, I'm investigating starting a pie stand for our local Farmer's Market on Fridays. (I love to make pies!)

kcmomma · 01-08-2010, 08:44 AM

It's very frustrating when you can't do what you'd really like to do when you want to do it. I LOVE being home when I'm home for a short time...then I start to go stir crazy and Madison (and DH too) make my hair start to curl. When I'm at work, I'm frustrated about all of the things that I should be doing/could be doing at home. I make better dinners on Snow days, get more work done then when I work.

I too would like to be able to "work" without the stress of money...meaning when/where/how often, etc that I want.
You're obviously not alone.

***Kristen*** · 01-08-2010, 09:26 AM

Polly-yes, that's it exactly. I have NO desire to sit at home and do nothing. I just would like to be able to be more in charge of my busyness (blogging is more flexible than teaching piano, for example, so I like it better. I can bend it around my family's needs much more easily).

almsthr · 01-10-2010, 08:23 AM

I think Polly hit the nail on the head!