View Full Version : Have you rebuilt any family relationships?
Either for yourself or for your partner/spouse?
Or have you tried to and regretted it?
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I am in the process of rebuilding my friendship with my sister and it's actually going really well. We're in contact via email at least every couple of days, facebook most days and have spoken on the phone at least once a week since returning from her wedding, she's also visited once and will be coming back up in a couple of weeks to spend some time with the kids and help with our house. It's a lovely feeling because it's not come about through anyone backing down, just through us spending time together and remembering the relationship we used to have and how we both changed and built hostility and deciding it was time to change that.
My kids are loving having her "back" (well Dyl and Loki are learning to know her as we've not had much of a relationship since Dyl was tiny)
almsthr
09-26-2008, 06:54 AM
I think once a relationship is rebuilt, the boundries are clearer.
I had to rebuild a relationship with my brother once he was sober. It was hard to trust him at first because of everything that happened before. We took it one day at a time to use the cliche and trust was rebuilt over time.
It was easier than I thought it would be because the person who was drunk was so very different from the person who made the commitment to be sober. 9 1/2 years later, things are going well.
Technically there are a few members of our extended family that we are split from but quite honestly, if they fell off the face of the earth tomorrow I would not care. I will not go out of my way to rebuild those relationships because they are too damn crazy. As long as my parents, my brother and his wife and my nuclear family are close, that is what matters to me.
Beka-I am glad that you guys are working at a better relationship now that the craziness of the wedding is over.
Kristen
09-27-2008, 06:19 AM
Yes, I've done that with one of my aunts.
There is my uncle, too, but I don't think that relationship will ever be restored to what it once was. And that's ok with me. As long as I'm not bitter and angry towards him, I think it's fine to have a pretty distant relationship.
Beka, I'm really glad things are working out with you and Bob!
SassyNZ
01-14-2009, 12:52 AM
I've been rebuilding a relationship with my father, as he stopped speaking to me about a year ago, when Andy and I got together... long story! ;)
I was angry at him for a long time, but a couple of my older, more experienced work mates have lost their father's over the past few years and they stressed how important it is to maintain contact. I thought about it and agreed with them, so I tried making conversation regardless of the fact that he was disappointed in me and we're making slow progress. I feel a lot better now that we're on friendly terms again. :)
Christine
01-14-2009, 07:59 AM
I've just begun rebuilding a relationship with my brother. I've definitely had to learn to keep my opinions to myself with him and just accept that he's a kid being raised in a way that drives me nuts! ;)
I guess I've rebuilt a relationship with my father as well. But that required me learning that he will never be the man I want him to be and just accepting him where he is.
Jessa
01-14-2009, 09:53 AM
My now former MIL and I had a falling out this summer. Mostly on my end, but she said some things about a friend of mine that I didn't appreciate.
Anyway, she has a MySpace blog and she wrote a very touching tribute to my children who she has loved and adored from the moment she first met then. Even though she was "just" a step-grandparent during my brief marriage to her son, she (and her husband) were the most wonderful, caring people and always treated them like they were their own.
So, after reading what she wrote and bursting in to tears I finally emailed her an apology. We don't talk often, just on occasion and she reads their blog to keep up on them and see new pictures. I also end up passing on messages from people who see my last name on FB and think that he might be my dad since he taught in the school district where I went to school.
Kristi
01-14-2009, 10:00 AM
Yeah with my aunt, She was very jealous when I got pregnant with Dylan because she was in her late 30s and never married or had kids and she made a lot of rude comments about me and my husband and how it wouldn't last and once we were talking about when Dylan got older and she said something about "Well you will be on your second husband by then" These thigns were very hurtful to me . Especially since growing up she was one of my favorite Aunts. We spent a lot of time with her.
Now she has adopted 3 kids of her own and we seem to be able to get along alot better. Her two youngest are Dylans age. I think she realizes now that while I WAS young when I had D i am a good Mommy and enjoy it and that my husband isn''t going anywhere. ;)
kcmomma
01-14-2009, 01:15 PM
We had to rebuild a relationship with DH's parents. They would go RIGHT past our apt EVERY Saturday night to SIL and BIL"s and play video games. They would not stop by and visit and if we didn't go over and play, we would be considered outcasts. They also did nothing on Sunday's when we would try to visit but play video games. When they found out we were pregnant with Madison, MIL and DH had a few screaming rounds at each other, and some really nasty emails too. They were pissed that they heard we were pregnant from someone other than us....well the issue is that the person that knew was told, by Dh, in a moment of stress (he wasn't dealing well with the whole baby coming thing) and wasn't supposed to tell anyone to begin with. MY parents didn't even know yet. Things are still touchy at times, but we're still working through it.
almsthr
01-16-2009, 03:52 AM
Well, My sister is accusing me of sending her a virus in an email. Now, I also sent the same email to others and everyone else was fine. She screamed at me for 10 minutes with her boyfriend in the back ground cheering her on.
So anything that was rebuilt is gone now, kind of the opposite of what you asked.
Oh yeah, she told me not to send her anymore "shit" like that, but my mailbox gets filled with the same stuff from her. WTF