Your Marriage: Do You Do Anything Specifically To Nurture/Care For It?

[Shana]

Well? Do you?

The Line of Danielle ------------------------------------------ LOL

I don't think that my 1st husband and I did ANYthing specifically to nurture our marriage. As Christians - the only thing we did together was go to church. We did have "date nights", especially when our kids were little, but as I think/look back - we didn't ever sit down and even really discuss our marriage. The closest we got was the conversarion that we had when we were talking about separation :rolleyes

So anyhow, having been through one extremely crappy marriage, I am bound and determined to not go through another ;) Fortunately, Brian is with me on this :p

We just finished hosting our 1st ever small group with our church. It's a "marriage" small group. We're just hosting it, which we means all we do is provide the home. Our leaders have been married for 21 years and the study that they do is Love and Respect (http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Desires-Desperately-Needs/dp/1591451876). I feel really good that we're actually taking a step to try and figure things out in our marriage.

We're also doing something called A Weekend to Remember (http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.3204559/k.F5BB/Attend_a_conference.htm)in November.

I find myself really really happy that both of us are so dedicated to making our marriage work :D On the other hand, it probably couldn't have killed me to work this hard on my 1st marriage. But -- God is good and gracious and I'm thankful that He gave me a 2nd chance :D

So anyhow.... anyone else?

[Jo]

Dave and I joke that we have known each other half of our lives and we still don't run out of things to talk about. Sure there are times when one of us launches into an old story and the other one's eyes glaze over because of the repetition.LOL But we do work on communicating and our friendship which was built before our love gets us through everything even when things were very dark with Rai.

With our new schedule, we have Friday mornings alone together. We have decided that is our date time. We hardly ever get out on dates because we are too paranoid to leave Rai. I know that is something we need to get over at some point. But for the first time in years, Dave and I have some time together to have some fun. That means so much to us.

[almsthr]

I think both people have to be commited. Also think before you speak, words can't be taken back. When I am angry or have an issue that needs to be discussed, I think about it first and cool off before I start talking. Respect is also important.

[Beka]

Like Dave and Jo David and I are big talkers- i think mostly because we were friends before we were romantically involved

David and I make a point of getting up together in the morning and sharing the chores associated with getting all of us out of the house on time and we talk doing that.

He calls in his coffee break and his lunch hour at work- he started doing it when Chase was tiny and I had bad, bad PPD and he'd phone to check in on me (in the early weeks I couldn't be left alone and he'd call whoever was my "sitter" for the day to talk with them) and it's just carried on- now we chat, laugh, he gets a chance to vent about the mornings work if he needs to, i get the chance to vent about my morning or share anything funny with him.

When he gets home we cook together- well, if the kids self amuse we cook together, if we don't we chat whilst one cooks the other amuses children. We enjoy cooking together and we make a point of sitting and eating as a family too.

At night we make a point of going to bed together- one will wait up for the other if needs be, we'll often crash out and watch some TV before bed together but it's extremely rare one goes to bed without the other.

Big events for the kids he takes time out to attend them with me which makes me feel my role is valid as a SAHM too, knowing he supports the kids and wants to be there means alot, knowing he's proud of the achievements I've helped them make feels good and also presenting a united front at the childrens school I feel helps us as a family too, the fact family comes before work for David definately strengthens our marriage as I couldn't imagine being in a marriage with a man who put the workplace before his kids.

Also- in interactions with extended family and friends (and i find this one very important to our marriage) David and I both fully support the other, we'd never belittle or berate the other purely due to a social situation (example men at Davids work going on and on about their wives etc I've had it reported back to me often that David will not say a single bad thing about me- even so far as telling them his wife isn't a woman she's a lady ;) ) I think it takes alot of strength and courage in a marriage to stand up and go against the tide to say no this is my spouse and i'm going to be proud.