Ok-now what do we do? More help please?

[Jo]

Mira is no longer scared. That seemed to come and go. Once we stopped letting her out of her room and Dave slept with her one night in it, she was fine. But now she has lost all ability to put herself to sleep.

She calls for us incessantly. Most of her needs are totally made up. For instance tonight, she wanted me. I let her call and call and call, not scared, just calling and then getting frustrated when I didn't come right away. I finally went up and she asked for a hug and told me she missed me. I stood outside of her room and hugged her over the gate and told her to get back in bed. She did for awhile. It got very quiet and then suddenly she is upset and yelling. I think she was asleep and woke up and didn't know what to do. When she gets that hysterical, one of us goes up and then she runs and jumps into bed. I have done the thing where I move slowly out of the room in stages. As soon as she hears the stairs creak, she freaks out. I am thinking that is a cat issue in her mind.

I also think she is about to drop naps all together. Should I push her though a day and limit her nap so she is exhausted at bedtime? If she takes a long nap, her sleep issues are worse.

I know we need to work on setting more limits. Dave and I are terrible about being consistent so she gets waaaaay to many chances sometimes. I did notice tonight that she really tried not to scream for us until she was so tired she couldn't deal. The last 3 days we have worked on asking nicely and dealing nicely if you don't actually get what you want.

I just don't know what to do at this point. She is beginning to be unhappy because she is so sleep mixed up. The selfish part of me says that we have 9 days until Laura can hear again so we better get this problem solved. But I am also concerned that I do the right thing for Mira. Rai was easy-hospital kids learn to sleep through anything.

[Mary]

You might want to try a day without a nap and see how it goes. Sometimes being over-tired causes kids to sleep LESS but other times it actually helps. I know the only time I have trouble with JZ is if he has taken a nap during the day, which he doesn't really need any more. The days he naps are the nights he is out of bed a few times saying, "I need to tell you something...." or wanting water or whatever. The days he hasn't had a nap I don't hear a peep out of him after I put him to bed.

Anyway, can't hurt to try once, right?

[wendygrace]

Sorry. Can't help you here. I have both kids in my bed. And I put them both to sleep at night. Both are clingy kids and mine are just not ready to sleep alone.

I agree that sometimes less sleep makes kids worse at night. Another thought that I've noticed with Michael is that on any given day he may need more or less sleep depending on that day's activity level. So if we had a busy morning, a nap is in order, and then he goes to bed on time. On days we putz around the house all day, I make him lay quietly in bed but there's no getting him to nap. Then he may or may not go to bed on time. Maybe she needs more activity?

Ok. so maybe I did have some thoughts for you. hehe. There's my .02

Another thoughts, I don't remember her age so don't know if this will work but can she read in bed with her own light until she is ready for bed. Big responsibility and all. :)

[Lori]

I could have written ALL of that, right down to Thomas calling for me over and over and then, when I go to him, asking for a hug over the gate.

I really have no advice, but I wish I did. Dropping the nap did make a big difference for us, though. Most nights, Thomas is tired enough that he will fall asleep while Sean is reading him a story, or will be tired enough that he'll just lay in bed and fall asleep. If he takes a nap during the day, bedtime here is a nightmare.

[Jo]

Mira only ended up with 7 hours of sleep last night. While she is tired, she is still hanging in there. We are going to try to push her until bed time. She has gone plenty of times without naps. Our biggest problem is the ride home from school. She falls so deeply asleep that she is dead when we bring her in and then she can sleep on the couch for another 2 hours. She never has needed naps like that. So I think you all are right about not letting her nap.

At least if she is more tired, she won't have the energy to think of as many things to get us back up to her room.:giggle

[Lori]

Jo, we have a struggle some days with keeping him from napping, particularly when the car is involved. Like Mira, if Thomas falls asleep in the car, we CANNOT get him up for at least two hours, sometimes three. We can shake him, yell at him, rub water on his face--it doesn't matter. He's just out.

I just try to avoid driving around with him for more than five or ten minutes after about 1 pm, and then if I have to go longer, I bring food and a drink, because that will usually keep him awake.

[wendygrace]

Have you considered changing bedtimes on days she does nap. Here at our house we don't always go to bed at the same time. That never made sense to me because I don't go to bed at the same time. Maybe she'd do ok playing quietly in her room for an hour extra and then do bedtime and see how that works.