View Full Version : TTC Buddies: Too Emotionally Difficult for Friends?
Polly
06-15-2008, 10:59 AM
Is it too hard to be friends, who are trying to conceive with their male parenting partner, to actively share details with each other? Especially if one person gets pregnant easily and the other doesn't?
ahh, i thought i'd replied to this one but obviously didn't!
I spent alot of time TTC during our time trying for Jude, in fact it's how i became such good friends with Erika and Lisa that you all know here. I can honestly say i made some really great friends during that time- I conceived and gave birth to Jude & Dyl and also conceived all my m/cs during the time Erika was trying for Sasha and Erika conceived Sasha whilst we were trying for Loki- i don't think it changed our friendship in anyway- we both spoke alot to each other during those times as both having had to go through long term TTC even if one was pg the other wasn't we both understood what it felt like to not just be casually trying to trying knowing the odds were stacked against us.
Lisa and I were pg buddies and sadly we both have recurrent m/c in common too- again, even when one has been pg the other not I've still felt entirely able to talk, vent and share with her because she knows what it's like to walk in my shoes.
Sarah who used to post here may never go on to have children, she's refocused her life and we went through a long time TTC together but we're still good friends, we can still strike up a conversation out of nothingness because trying to get pregnant aside we had alot in common- our personalities just clicked and I do count her amoung my very best friends.
Even friends i met TTC who had no challenges it was never awkward, i had an initial period of adjustment after diagnosis where i had to take stock and accept that even if every person on earth stopped getting pg it wasn't going to change anything for me- it wasn't that there was a finite number of babies to go around and their being pg was keeping mine from me, it was just life. It took some adjustment.
The only people I ever took genuine issue with was those who were frivalous about pregnancy after not activity attempting to avoid it even knowing it would complicate their life beyond reasonable capability- my sil is one, she doesn't actively prevent it but then presents it as a burden and hardship upon her when she is pregnant- that annoys me because when she knows it would be such a drain on herself and her life she could easily avoid it.
I agree with Beka. I've been able to continue relationships with friends who have had an easy time TTC. I think because I do have those friends like Beka and Erika who have been in my shoes and know what it feels like. I have someone to talk and vent to who doesn't get tired of hearing me bitch.
I have a friend who has 3 children and the 4th on the way. She has never had problems getting pregnant. Neither has 2 of my sisters. I've been jelous before but it's never affected my relationship with them.