Would you have a wedding again?

[Polly]

No, I don't mean would you marry the same person all over again. (Although I certainly hope you are happy in whatever kind of relationship you are in!)
I'm refering to throwing a wedding again. There is a mom in my Mom and Baby Yoga class that is planning her 5 year anniversary party-only it's a wedding again. No, I don't mean a simple vow reaffirmation, I mean 200 guests, catering, flowers, getting a new wedding dress (from a very expensive shop in Alexandria, VA called Hanelores), etc. She seemed shocked when I told her that even if I had the money to have my wedding all over again, I wouldn't. Thanks, been there. Done that. I really don't ever want to have to plan another wedding of my own again. I never bought into the princess for a day thing or thought it was the most important day of my life. It was just a very lovely and fun day with dh and my friends and family. Special and not to be repeated.

However, I certainly WOULD go on my honeymoon again. ;) I think it's good thing that I had a better time on my honeymoon than at my wedding!

Polly

[Christine]

Have another wedding to Dave, just for ceremony? No way.

I understand when you're anticipating marriage and you have the big fancy shindig to kick start that new phase. But to do it several years into the marriage? That just puts the focus, imo, in the wrong place.

Shortly after our wedding, I started to think about all the things I would have done differently if I had "known then". The wedding would have been a very different affair in many ways. But now that I've been married ten years, that's just ancient history. I'd rather put all that energy and focus into maintaining the MARRIAGE, ykwim?

[Jo]

I still want to go back and rent the Blue Lady for one of Dave's and my anniversaries. I want all our kids to be old enough to leave at home and just have a fun, adult, party time with our wedding party. Basically, all the fun we had around the wedding without the actual wedding or parents involved.

I do think it is silly to be recreating your wedding after only 5 years. It seems a little soon to have to be reminded of your marriage vows.

[off-kilter]

I am considering doing something like go to Vegas and have one of those "theme" weddings just for fun on my 15th or 20th anniversary. But that's just strictly for goofy fun and it would likely just be the two of us anyway.

[Mary]

I would do a small ceremony but nothing huge like that. We got married in Vegas (planned; not spur of the moment, but it was still Vegas!) so I have always thought it would be cool to do something totally different. My idea was to go to Big Sur and have a ceremony at a hotel that has outdoor grounds overlooking the ocean. I'd do a fancy dress but not a proper wedding dress and it would just be me and dh and the kids as the wedding party, and probably no more than 50 guests. We'd do a meal afterward.

I had thoughts of doing it for our tenth anniversary but that is screaming up on us in November of this year so, yeah, NOT going to happen (can't afford it). So it might be something I'd think about for our 15th. We ought to be much better off by then and the kids will be 12, 9 and 5, which would give us the added bonus of being able to sneak off on a second honeymoon and leave the kids with my mom! (That would be impossible this year with them only being 7, 4 and 7 months.)

[Jurgita]

Yes I would!! I loved our wedding, everything went so well and it was beautiful, so yeah I would do it all over again.

[Beka]

No i wouldn't because (to me) it'd be making a mockery of the marriage by implying the most important thing about it was the show and to me it wasn't it was about committing myself to David and no ammount of catering, flowers etc is going to make that anymore significant than it was on my wedding day.

So no, i wouldn't- I had my big day and it was big (i married in a frikken castle afterall!) but it wasn't just about dresses and flowers it was about finally being ready to marry him after 5 years together.

It's not that i wouldn't want the work and stress of planning a wedding over- i could do all that again but i wouldn't want to because i already married him and it (to me) would be saying the wedding was just a re-doable party which it wasn't- it's one day in our lives we can't have over.

To me it'd be like re-enacting the kids births every birthday they had

[Marzipan]

We're doing that for our tenth anniversary. We had a great big fairy tale wedding, but my in-laws are such horrible assholes that I spent a lot of it crying and then spent my wedding night wandering around the Baltimore harbor, chain-smoking and crying, while my new husband slept unawares. (I don't smoke anymore, incidentally. I quity cold turkey on our first anniversary.) We then headed off for 10 days in Ireland and had a fantastic time. So, for our tenth anniversary (4.5 years away) we're going to have some friends and family, sans in-laws, spend 4 or 5 days in Ireland with us and have a second wedding. I'm wearing a wedding dress, hiring a photographer, etc.

I know it seems silly, but I have so many awful memories from my wedding that I can't look at my album or my dress without a lump coming to my throat. I'd like some pictures of me in a wedding dress that don't make me cry. My marriage is beyond wonderful, and I'd like to have a big celebration to celebrate that with the people I love, especially my children.

[Kristen]

I feel kind of like Beka. The point of my wedding was for us to commit ourselves to each other in the sight of God and witnesses, and that was kind of a one-time, lasts forever kind of promise.

We would like to go have a second and third and fourth and fifth(you get the picture) honeymoon, as I don't think we could ever have too many fun, relaxing vacations all by ourselves, but I don't think we could get into another wedding.

[Desirae]

We had a blast at our wedding! :D I can see doing a very small version of it for a "big" anniversary.. but NOT after 5 years. That seems silly IMO.

[Shana]

Well, I'm having a 2nd wedding, but not with the same guy LOL

Ummm.... I don't think I would. But as with everything else in this life, I don't believe that my choice should apply to anyone else ;)

Marzipan, your story just broke my heart. I can TOTALLY understand why you would want to have another celebration, in which you are HAPPY:squeeze

Having said that, my 2nd wedding is going to be the polar opposite of my 1st. Just 30 people invited (compared to 250). A fun kick a$$ party afterwards at a friends house (vs cake and punch in the church basement), and long relaxing honeymoon in the Caribbean (vs driving to California with my PARENTS:whatever).

[Kristi]

Well since my husband and I only went to the court house and the only witnesses were two of our friends then yes I would love to have a wedding.

We plan to do so for our 10th Anniversary. It would not be anything huge but more than we could have afforded when we first got married. I really want to have a day that we can share with our families who were not there the first time.

If we had done one the first time then I can't see wanting to redo it all. Esp in a big way for a 5th anniversary. Maybe a small renewal ceremony but I can't see doing another wedding 5 yrs later just because.

[Erika]

Marzipan - what part of Ireland did you honeymoon in? What did you think :D (I live in Dublin though have worked down in Limerick, amongst other parts).

WOuld I do it again? HECK YEAH!!! The presents were great. I want to get more of that :giggle

[Sam]

I think a blessing would be lovely :)

My brother got married in Hawaii last year,none of us on my bros side could afford to go because we had only a few months notice so we missed him getting married. They are having a blessing over here in may :) He will have a massive party and although the ceremony isn't the same as a wedding it will still be nice to see him and SIL saying their vows.

I am still waiting to get married for the 2nd time but maybe when we are in our 50's or something a blessing would be nice.

[Brooke]

No, I personally wouldn't. I had a GREAT time at our wedding and wouldn't have changed a thing.

Marzipan - if that happened at my wedding, I would probably do the same thing you are planning for your 10th anniversary.

I only wouldn't do it because my wedding was exactly what I wanted. I don't think I could recreate that again and I don't really want to, to be honest.

[Jejune]

I would like to do this - sort of - for one of my anniversaries. We had a lovely ceremony, but much of the party wasn't to my liking, and I was stressed and tired, and didn't get to eat much. We also never had a honeymoon. We'd like to renew our vows (not because the first ones didn't take, but because it's saying not just that we still want to be married, but that we'd marry each other all over again) and have a relaxing, fun party with our friends and loved ones. Then we'd go on a honeymoon. That's what I'd ideally like, but I'll settle for a quiet party and any trip alone with my husband.

[malcontent]

I would never wear a wedding dress and have a big reception again, even if I were to have another marriage. I didn't particuarly enjoy my wedding, though I had everything I wanted and nothing major went wrong. I'm content to leave all things bridal in the past.

[Jenny]

we threw together our wedding in six weeks, everything was kind of rushed and we didn't have real photos taken :(

I would love to get married again (to my husband) and have a big shin-dig, but I want to wait until we have more money to do this.

[Marzipan]

Marzipan - what part of Ireland did you honeymoon in? What did you think :D (I live in Dublin though have worked down in Limerick, amongst other parts).

We went all over the southern part. We landed in Shannon, drove to Limerick, then up to Dublin, and then back west to Galway. We stopped at many towns along the way, and my husband practically gave me a heart attack at Moher. I liked Galway and Killarney best, though we stayed a night at Dromoland and that was pretty awesome. We had a fabulous time and didn't want to come home at all. I felt very calm and peaceful there, and it is just the most serenly beautiful place. I enjoyed the ring of Kerry. We spent a whole day doing that. Next time I want to focus on Galway and Killarney, and hopefully venture up north as well. I'd love to see the Giants' Causeway.

[giffy]

I absolutely loved my wedding - everything was perfect, and I had a blast. I wouldn't want to do it again, but I'd love to have a huge party to celebrate a big anniversary. Maybe we'll do that when we get to 20 years. We had thought to do something of the kind for our 10th last year, but then I got pregnant and the idea of planning a huge party while dealing with a little baby and 2 other kids was just too much for me to contemplate.

[Erika]

Galway and Killarney are stunning. And it really is serene. Limerick has or at least had the horrible moniker of "stab city" due to the high crime rate. You should have seen the appalled looks I got from family and friends when I told them I was moving down there for a few months to work, especially considering I was almost in my third trimester of pregnancy! I loved it though and thought it was a far safer city (town) than Dublin. We are thinking of moving back down there for a few years or possibly to Galway (where my grandfather was from).

I'm so glad that you had a fabulous time on our fair isle :)

[Marzipan]

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm from Baltimore which (I believe) was ranked as the deadliest large city in America last year. Or maybe top 3. Anyway, we had a fabulous time and found your countrymen welcoming and delightful.

[Joni]

I wouldn't do the big wedding again for two reasons--one, our first one was really lovely, and two, we couldn't afford it. I would love to renew our vows someday; not because I think our vows NEED to be renewed, but because I like the idea of a small, intimate ceremony.

Marci, I would totally have another wedding too if I were you. Your plan sounds amazing.

[Lisa]

I wouldn't but mainly cause i had a really nice one. I'd do things different this time and may consider reafirming our vows sometime but not a wedding. Now my sister had to have a quick wedding that was planned in 3 weeks. She wants a church wedding and although I think it's a bit much, I don't blame her for wanting one.

[Heather]

Heck no I wouldn't lol. Maybe for a million dollars, but no... too much muss too much fuss, I'm not interested. My wedding was not done how I wanted it though.. we wanted to go to Vegas, but the parents wouldn't have it because were both under 21 at the time. Knowing what i know now... we should've just waited and done it the way we wanted, with or Without their approval. That's how we wanted to do it the 2nd time around(Vegas) but it didn't work out money-wise. One day.. I will finally get to go to Vegas and him and I will get married a THIRD time, just so I can have my cheesy, Vegas wedding with Elvis that I've always wanted lol.

Big fancy dress? Catering? Hundreds of people? Not me. Not me at all lol. Hell.. my first wedding wasn't even like that lol. I had a simple dress, we had the ceremony at my parents house with JUST our parents and my MOH and BM, and then had a little reception for the rest of the family and friends. Maybe for our 20 yr(still counts from '97 lol) we'll have a bash, but it won't be all fancy. Comfy, casual, lots of yummy food and lots of music and fun.

[Shasta]

I would love to have a real wedding. We got married with a JP type person marrying us, it was just Mike and I, Taj, my Mom and Mike's grandmother. I'm very happy that those important people were there with us, but I have dreamed of a big wedding all my life. With bridesmaids, best man, flower girl, ring bearer, all of our family and friends, etc. Our original plan was to have a wedding like that, I got my dream wedding dress. But it just didn't work out. So I wore my beautiful dress but that was the only "wedding like" part of it.

I don't think Mike would go for having a big wedding, but I will always want one, it's like I can see it all in my head, exactly how it would be. I just feel that I really missed out on this childhood dream of mine by not having a real wedding. I love my husband and I'm glad we got married when we did, I just wish we could have had ALL of our loved ones there to see.