Very sad and not sure what to do

[Joy]

A little about this: I work 2 jobs and have 2 small girls. I try to make ends meet and now after 5 months this is whats happening:

I took a job 5 months ago. I was hired to help out in a finance office with one other person. For the first two months the work was equal. Now everything has changed, this person that begged the owner to get her some help basically does very little all day. We share the same office and I listen to her emailing all day (no kidding) and when she isnt doing that shes either talking on the phone, doing personal things, searching the web, or just walking around. I am devastated because I like the job. I am now losing precious sleep, pulling away from my husband because of the stress, withdrawing more and more each day from friends and family because of this.

Not only that this person is 22 years older than me. She is very selfish, jealous, insecure, LAZY, disrespectful, and so much more.

So the problem - why don't I just quit? I need the money. I have tried talking to her but it just doesn't help. She treats me like a child. I think this jealousy thing is the reason for that. I am a very hard worker and very intelligent when it comes to finances.

The owner of the company really likes me. He knows a little but I am afraid to tell him whats going on because she has been there 3 or more years. Not only that she has a way of manipulating people. Unfortunately it is a medium size company and no one really likes her. I think she must know that because she spends each day complaining about everyone and everything. I am so tired of it. It is emotionally draining. She constantly says things that are hurtful and I just want to tell her to STFU and leave me alone.

I really like the work even though she doesnt help me like she use to the first 2 months. I wish the owner could see this. I wish he knew everything that was going on.

What do I do - the pay isn't all that great but its a job. My husband says I should talk to the owner and let him know that unless he can move me to a different position that I just cannot work with her. I dont want to sound like a complainer and worse off the owner is friends with her husband (not great friends) but still friends. My husband said give it one more month and then give me notice. Ugh - then its like quitting. I would hate to do that.

So help me - what would you do? I feel like I am almost at the end of my rope and feel very sad about this. The owner and I get along great and I can tell he appreciates my hard working ethic. This is such a mess - is it worth it to stay? What would you do?

Thanks guys!

[Lisa]

I agree with your DH. Tell your boss what's going on and ask for a change. If that doesn't happen then I don't think it's worth sticking around. A company and boss who will not take your concerns seriously isn't worth the headache

[Beka]

Yep, entirely agree with Lisa, it could be the boss already has an inkling anyway but needs someone to officially complain to make him take action. Afterall he pays her wage and I'm sure he's not going to be happy about her not doing anything all day!

[freebiemom]

I agree with Lisa. Talk to your boss and if nothing changes, quit and find another job where you'll be happier. Good luck.

[Danielle]

Another in total agreement here. You need to speak to your boss. :hugs and good luck!

[Joy]

I have spoken to him Friday, I think he is aware but its very hard. I have only been there 5 months and shes been there 3 years. The only reason she is there is because the owner use to work for her husband. It is the toughest situation I have been in.

I do not want to lose the job because she is impossible. I have a break from her for a few weeks because she is away so I will have to wait and see if it starts all over again when she returns.

If it does then I am going to tell her straight up that she needs to stop mistreating me and if she has a problem she can see the owner. She is so unbearable sometimes I just want to tell her off but I can't it would just make things worse.

I realize she is insecure and jealous that the boss goes directly to me, likes me, trusts me and wants me to stay and have a future with the company. Emotional, I don't have much left and I am afraid something is going to get said that will certainly cause some action from the owner. Will he tell me to leave? Just don't know because I think he is thinking of the future and she wont be around for ever.

[Danielle]

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. :hugs

I think you do need to confront her though... not in a nasty way just in a way that lets her know you won't be walked all over.

[Erika]

Talk again with your boss. But first, make a list of everything you do. Explain the amount of work that is there for both of you, and exactly what you do.

Or another option would be to split the work completely 50/50 and leave the work she doesn't do on her desk. That way, it can be shown that she isn't pulling her weight.

Either way, you don't have to put up with a lazy coworker who is making your feel bad. You have no reason to feel bad. you are doing your job and doing it well. She isn't. Thus, it is her problem,not yours, what happens between her and the boss.

Good luck and I hope this resolves itself.

[kcmomma]

:hugs Pulling the weight of another person at work is very stressful. I did it for 9 years. The first year, another co-worker and I just chalked it up to stress and attempting to deal since her DH had just died of a massive heart attack on the 4th day of the new school year and she had an 11 month old. 7 years later, it was still happening. She STILL, 10 year later, shows up to work everyday at least 30-45 minutes late, comes to class late... :hugs It's not easy, but only you can look out for you. I hope things improve

[Joy]

Things are only better right now because she is gone. I do not know how to confront her. Her personality type is very controlling, stubborn, overbearing, and of course she does no wrong. Its very strange. She will say to others she doesn't realize she talks the way she does but them keeps doing it. Not many if any like this woman. She is only their because someone felt sorry for her and tried to help her out. She use to have a high paying job but the company got sold and the new owner quickly realized what he was paying for he wasn't getting any work done. She was let go and replaced by someone who could do the work.

Anyways, I will need to confront her when she returns if it starts all over. I realize I shouldn't be afraid of the outcome because in the last two weeks I have proved to the owner what a hard worker I am. He even trusted me enough to negotiate some of his finance services he was receiving. To make a long story short. He is paying less in fees and I believe he is very happy with me for putting the effort into making new changes. Just hate to see what happens when she comes back and finds things have changed how we process the monies. Wow will she be shocked. She actual said when she left if I changed things I would be doing it all. LOL - that was my opportunity to say "And that would be different how?" But I didn't say it. i will keep you all updated. Thank you for your support and kind words - you are helping me out more than you all know.

[Joy]

I agree with your DH. Tell your boss what's going on and ask for a change. If that doesn't happen then I don't think it's worth sticking around. A company and boss who will not take your concerns seriously isn't worth the headache

Lisa,

You may have been right. Its been a bit since I have been able to get on here and update you all on my situation at work.

To make a long story short - the person I work with has become unbearable to deal with. For over 2 weeks I have been explaining this to the owner. He is in the middle with the old stand by "he said - she said"

I have tolerated enough verbal abuse from this woman I work with her and I have decided after some recent health concerns, stress, and feeling hurt and overwhelmed that it was time. I gave my notice and this women was such a XXXXX cant type that word, that I retracted my 2 week notice and told the owner on Friday that this was my last day. Enough is enough. She is the worst person I have ever dealt with. From her immature ways, complaining about everything and everyone, searching my computer (nothing on it because I actual work when I am at work unlike her who emails all day and browses the internet.) I have realized NO job, NO amount of money is worth becoming a person you don't like anymore. My family deserves a happy wife and mom!

So to all of you who might read this, sorry I have not had the opportunity to stop in and say hi! Hope everyone is doing well. I will read some posts and get back in the swing of spiffy moms again!

Joy

[Jo]

It is great to see you back! I was hoping your were OK.

I think you made the best decision for you and your family. She sounds like a real piece of work and no one ever deserves to be treated like that.

[Kristen]

I'm glad that you were able to come to a decision that is best for you and your family!

[Joy]

Thank you Jo and Kristen! Now I will have a little more free time to come back and chat.