View Full Version : Pole Dancing Parties
Jejune
02-25-2007, 07:25 PM
From the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/24/nyregion/24pole.html?em&ex=1172552400&en=5e21429de831219f&ei=5087%0A)
An excerpt:
KINNELON, N.J. — Johnna Cottam was showing a group of her girlfriends how to do a move called the Fireman.
As music by Shakira played, she strode up to grab the portable pole in the living room of her well-appointed lakefront home here, wrapped her right leg around it, swung wide with her left, and spun. When she reached the bottom, Ms. Cottam, in a pink “Got Pole?” tank top and black workout pants, tossed her hair back, mudflap-girl style.
“Kick it right out of the ballpark, just kick it,” she encouraged her five friends and neighbors. Making way for the women to try the move, Ms. Cottam backed into a rocking chair draped with pink and purple feather boas that partly covered her twin sons’ two teddy bears.
Pole dancing, once exclusively the province of exotic dancers, has flared up as a much-hyped Hollywood exercise craze, and has seeped into the collective unconscious through shows like “The Sopranos” and “Desperate Housewives.” A variant called motorized pole dancing, which occurs in stretch limos, has raised eyebrows as far away as Britain, where some female university students pole-danced as a fund-raiser for testicular cancer. And mini-poles have even been spotted as dance props at over-the-top bat mitzvah parties in suburban precincts.
Now the pole — think ballet barre turned vertical — is the new star at racier versions of Tupperware parties in well-heeled (if high-heeled) areas like this one in the northwest hills of Morris County, about 33 miles from Manhattan. Billed as “femme empowerment,” such at-home pole dancing lessons are taking place in the realm of book clubs, with mothers — and grandmothers — learning slinky moves for girls’ nights in, bachelorette send-offs, even the occasional 60th birthday celebration.
What think you?
At a bat mitzvah or any party for girls under 18? Totally inappropriate. For a bachelorette party or fundraiser or 60th birthdays? I say if they're going to have fun with it, good for them.
MathSpeak
02-25-2007, 07:58 PM
A friend of mine actually threw one a few months ago (okay, maybe just 2 months) and I was scheduled to go, but it happened on the day I quit my job and I punked out. It was a cool idea... not as "dirty" as it sounds... All of the women invited were "well-heeled", I guess. They said they had fun. I was looking forward to it LOL
I don't see how it would be much different than toy parties. For adults, I think it would be fun.
malcontent
02-25-2007, 09:04 PM
I would be very uncomfortable at such a party. I'd feel put on the spot and embarrassed. I find the concept in poor taste, which is neither here or there, I suppose. I'm sure less uptight women might enjoy pole dancing with their friends. However, I could never attend a sex toy party either because I am a hopeless prude.
Still, if the parties are intended for adult women, I'm content to mind my own business. If such a party was planned by a twelve-year-old, I'd be alarmed.
Jejune
02-25-2007, 09:09 PM
I would be very uncomfortable at such a party. I'd feel put on the spot and embarrassed. I find the concept in poor taste, which is neither here or there, I suppose. I'm sure less uptight women might enjoy pole dancing with their friends. However, I could never attend a sex toy party either because I am a hopeless prude.
Still, if the parties are intended for adult women, I'm content to mind my own business. If such a party was planned by a twelve-year-old, I'd be alarmed.
That's pretty much how I feel. I guess I also find it a little weird in an uncomfortable way for me personally. I associate pole dancing with a sort of sexism that I find hard to reconcile with something people do for fun - even though I can imagine how spinning around a pole would be fun. I guess I'm in the middle here, but basically, I don't really care what other adults are doing for fun. For a bat mitzvah, though, I think this should be right out.
MathSpeak
02-25-2007, 09:22 PM
I don't see how it would be much different than toy parties. For adults, I think it would be fun.
Exactly...
Sarah
02-25-2007, 09:29 PM
For adults, I see no problem. It could be fun! But for anyone under age...no. It's just not appropriate.
Kristi
02-25-2007, 10:08 PM
I think for adults it is fine. If I had any idea how to dance LOL I might enjoy it but I think I would just look like a big iddiot at one. :lmao Now at a party for kids under 18 :nono I think that is totally inappropriate.
Desirae
02-26-2007, 10:04 PM
Kristi, I'm right there with you:giggle You and I would be in the back whispering * Yeah right, no way I'd be able to do that!* to each other. LOL
I see no problem with it for adults. Like Jo said, how is it different than toy parties (which are very fun after a drink...or two LOL)?
The thing that kind of frightens me about this is that I can really see my mom and her friends getting into this kind of thing as their 60th birthdays are coming up. I really hope they don't hear about it. :giggle
Desirae
02-26-2007, 10:11 PM
LOL Lori!
Kristi
02-26-2007, 10:47 PM
LOL At Des and Lori :D
gr8mommy
02-27-2007, 09:08 AM
I can't understand the appeal, but then I don't understand the appeal of sex toy parties or lingerie parties, either. I don't think I'm a prude, just that some things should remain private, I guess. I think having a pole in one's bedroom is fine, if that's what you're into. I don't get wanting to dance with it in front of one's friends.
Victoria
02-27-2007, 09:26 AM
since pole dancing comes from strip clubs and strip clubs are all about women being degraded, I couldn't get into it. I'd be creeped out if I went to a party and found a pole there. I wonder if they send out invites for stuff and put that on there...
Come to Nana's 60th Bday Party!
Sat 6pm
Please don't bring a gift, your presence is gift enough,
But wear comfy clothes as we will be pole dancing
RSVP 555-1212.
LOL
it's quite common to find excercise classes in it in my part of the uk right now so i say more power to the over 18s who chose it :giggle
there's a little old lady in Britain who hired a stripper for her 90-something birthday and when asked what she'd do when she turned 100 she said she'd hire two :lmao
Marzipan
02-27-2007, 09:55 AM
I think it sounds terrifically fun and if I were more self-confident, I'd go. One of my husband's clients is a pole-dancing fitness club, and they are always booked solid for classes as well as bachelorette parties and such. Interestingly, it tends to be very, very posh women who take the classes and book the parties.
Jejune
02-27-2007, 10:54 AM
Interestingly, it tends to be very, very posh women who take the classes and book the parties.
This is actually why it makes me uncomfortable. I see it as similar to the Hip Hop classes that were in for a while. I get the impression that some of the women involved get a kick out of it because for them, it's slumming. Not all women, but those who are make me uncomfortable. I just find it slightly creepy when people co-opt aspects of lives they see as sleezy.
I don't mean for this to be offensive to anyone, but I was trying to think why this makes me so uncomfortable, and I think that's why. I didn't look at the slide show that's attached to that article, but Daniel did, and he said it looks like the women are having a lot of fun, and also that there's no way for a pole to be alluring in a suburban living room. So I can see the more fun silly end of things, but I also get a sense of "Oh, we're so naughty!" from some of what I've read, and it makes me think the thrill comes from the thought of being like those naughty girls who do it for a living.
Edited to add: I walked away and did some chores, and it occurred to me that I am a hypocrite. I would totally go to a party dressed as a gun moll, and it's not like I think they were all about clean living. I either need to let this one go, or I need to accept that I am comfortable with co-opting the sleazy lives of historical people, but not people alive today.
Edited to add: More hypocrisy. I just remembered how much I like Dynamite Hack's cover of Eazy E's Boyz in Da Hood and Jonathan Coulton's Baby Got Back. They're nothing if not slumming. I think I am going to need to let the discomfort go. And now you all got to witness my pathetic thought processes.
malcontent
02-27-2007, 02:17 PM
I'm very socially liberal so I don't really care what other people get up to for entertainment. On a personal level though, I'm not comfortable with blatant sexual expression in public. An exercise class would bother me less, since the purpose is well, exercise, and maybe learning some seductive moves for later, private expression. I've taken belly-dancing classes before and had a great time. Pole-dancing doesn't appeal to me as a party activity, though. I'm self-conscious and I don't like to gyrate before people, even other women.
I don't think these women are necessarily slumming. I doubt that much thought goes into joining in a trendy activity. And, really, most exercise classes at a specialty gym will probably be populated by the relatively posh. Richer people have more money to join gyms and more free time to exercise.
Jejune
02-27-2007, 03:02 PM
Yes, well that last post just managed to expose all manner of ugly things about my real thoughts when I think myself socially liberal. I'm going to examine those thoughts a little more closely and hopefully move on from being such a judgmental person. At least a little.
Sarah
02-27-2007, 07:31 PM
I've taken belly-dancing classes before and had a great time.
Then again, bellydancing isn't really in the same category as pole-dancing. :D
Just the opinion of an amateur bellydancer. ;)
LOL Kristen! I do think you are partly right though. The fact that it is 'slumming' and beneath a person is probably part of the draw. I wouldn't have the courage to pole dance unless it was in a safe environment and I certainly don't think of it as a traditional 'mom' thing to do. I do feel that part of the allure is being able to let out your inner whore in a safe situation where you can have fun and not be embarrassed. Or if you are embarrassed because you are a bad pole dancer, it is all in good fun.
Sarah
02-27-2007, 09:48 PM
I do feel that part of the allure is being able to let out your inner whore in a safe situation where you can have fun and not be embarrassed. Or if you are embarrassed because you are a bad pole dancer, it is all in good fun.
Well said Jo, that's what I think too, but I'm not so good with the whole "words" thing. LOL
Brooke
02-27-2007, 09:52 PM
LOL Kristen! I do think you are partly right though. The fact that it is 'slumming' and beneath a person is probably part of the draw. I wouldn't have the courage to pole dance unless it was in a safe environment and I certainly don't think of it as a traditional 'mom' thing to do. I do feel that part of the allure is being able to let out your inner whore in a safe situation where you can have fun and not be embarrassed. Or if you are embarrassed because you are a bad pole dancer, it is all in good fun.
Did you just say "Release your inner whore"? I think I love you. :rofl
I have no problems with it. Sounds like fun, but I would need to be in MUCH better shape before I ever attempted it. And I don't mean skinny, I just mean able to even try some of the moves. ;) I didn't even think of the "slumming it" aspect, but it really does bring up some good points.
Erika
02-28-2007, 06:01 PM
I would enjoy pole dancing parties with some of my friends. Not so much, with other friends. The more racy friends, absolutely. I think it would be a blast. Plus pole dancing is a fabulous form of exercise. Or so I've been told :Paranoid
It's one of those things I wouldn't have a problem with other people doing, but I would probably be uncomfortable myself. I can't see myself as being particularly good at it, and that would embarrass me. I'd only do it with very, very close friends, I guess.
yummymommy
03-02-2007, 11:43 AM
I think it would be fun, not to mention funny :giggle, but Id be sitting in the back with Kristi and Des saying I could never do that, unless of course I had enough of the liquid courage in me!
it's quite common to find excercise classes in it in my part of the uk right now so i say more power to the over 18s who chose it :giggle
I have the option of a pole-dancing class at my gym if I wanted to go to it. I don't, but I have friends who love it...and as a women only class, it's apparently a lot of fun, and great exercise.
I'm not sure I would go to a pole dancing party though.