View Full Version : Ending the relationship with or distancing from a parents?
Did distancing yourself from or ending your relationship with one or both of your parents change or end the relationship you had with your siblings and extended family?
Do you find this regretable or necessary?
freebiemom
03-13-2008, 07:52 AM
My father died 14 years ago and I was never close to my mother. For my mental happiness, to be the best mother and wife I can be, I can't have a relationship with my mother. We weren't on good speaking terms before my father died and I really tried after he passed as I felt she was my mother and I needed to. Eventually I realized I had to cut all ties with her in order to take care of me. The regrettable result was the end of a relationship with my brother. He says he took no sides but he lives close to her and far from me so . . .
It's been 11 years since I've had a relationship with my mother. I did try about two years ago to reestablish one with my brother and while that phone call went very well, he's not called me since. I've called and left him messages but he's never returned my calls. :(
I'm sorry to hear that, what made me think of this is my husband is very distanced from his father and is just beginning to build a relationship with his brother (always lived with their father, where as dh was the son left behind) It's something he's waited alot of years for as he wanted BIL to be an adult who could make his own choices before attempting to build a relationship independant of their father.
Tamika
03-13-2008, 09:06 AM
We almost went through this 2yrs ago with my parents - we had quite the disagreement that lasted a good 4 months with no speaking except exchanging harsh words. It DID affect my relationship with my brother. I didn't want him put in the middle so I think I distanced myself from him too.
My parents and I are 'okay' now, but never ever will there be that same trust/closeness. My brother and I went back to normal quite quickly.
Not at all.
My full blood brother and sister are in the same boat as I am and I have never been close to my half siblings anyway.
Danielle
03-15-2008, 03:03 PM
Dh and my dad had a disagreement about a year ago and we didn't speak to him for a couple of months. Things are actually better now, some things that needed to be said got cleared up. My sister and I still spoke through that time and for the most part she was sympathetic to our position as she's had some issues with my dad as well (he tends to be a tad controlling).
I've been extremely fortunate to have never had any problems with my parents. Patrick had a falling out with his mother shortly after he graduate hs. His step father was the reason for that. I think it lasted a few months where he didn't talk to her. They got over it fairly quickly and are much closer now then they were when he was a teenager. Patrick did not know his real father and so never had a relationship with him.
kcmomma
03-15-2008, 06:55 PM
Dh and my father had an issue last year about this time....DH has only been to 1 family function since then, but that's pretty normal for DH to not be at family functions.
DH and his parents had a falling out right about the time I got pregnant. HIs parents would to go SIL and BIL's apt every Saturday night to play tournament style Halo, would walk RIGHT past our door, since we lived across the hall from SIL and they wouldn't stop by and say HI. Really peeved DH off, some words were said and we didn't visit or really talk to them for about 8 months. It was during this time that I got pregnant and they found out from someone other than DH, not SIL either, that we were expecting and flipped on DH that he didn't tell them. Well, since DH wasn't real pleased with the impending baby, he really wasn't in the place to be all happy and news sharing at the time. Things did improve, slowly. I'm still on their list...but that's because in their opinion I put Key Club infront of my child in order of priority....:sigh