Teaching abstinence from premarital sex

[Erika]

Should schools be teaching that children and teens should abstain from premarital sex?

I'm not asking whether parents should teach this or not because I personally feel that it is up to a parent to decide what values they want to teach their own children.

But while teaching sex ed, should schools be stressing abstinence?

[Erika]

My own opinion is that no, schools shouldn't be stressing abstinence from pre-marital sex. In fact, I would be very angry if Sasha came home and told me that her school was telling her that it is better to wait until marriage for sex.

I do believe that schools need a comprehensive sex education. And abstinence can be part of it. but only part of it.

And i shall come back to this when I have more time LOL

[Jo]

I don't think schools should be teaching it in context with marriage. That is a moral judgment that should remain the teaching of the parents. I do think they should stress it as part of sex education since it truly is the only way that people can 100% avoid STDs and pregnancy.

[Erika]

That I agree with Jo. Just like I don't agree with abstinence-ONLY sex ed., I don't agree with not mentioning abstinence at all. And to me a comprehensive sex ed includes teaching teens that the only way they can completely avoid STDs and pregnancy is to abstain. And then follow this by a good education in STD and pregnancy prevention using condoms, etc.

[Desirae]

While I personally believe in waiting till marriage (even though we failed in that), I don't feel that the schools should only teach about abstinence. I DO think it should be something they talk about though.

[Jo]

I feel like I should clarify. I mean public schools when I say schools. If it is a religious based school, then they should feel free to teach according to their values. I disagree with any school teaching false information though. Dave for instance, was frequently in trouble at his Catholic high school. On one occasion, they taught that condoms had a 90% fail rate. Dave, being the son of a GYN, immediately corrected that information in class and was given a detention along with a talk with the principal.

[Desirae]

I agree Jo, I was thinking public schools.

i can't believe he got in trouble for that!:eek I am fine with them saying that condoms aren't as effective as abstinence but they shouldn't be giving false stats.

[Kristi]

I agree with Desirae.

[Beka]

This is something i have actually dealt with as our government did attempt to change what children are taught in terms of social & emotional development in primary schools and it did wish to stress the importance of marriage and i complained directly to the school as i was not prepared to have a teacher tell Chase it was wrong when she was a child who knew very well she was born prior to us marriage as were many of her cousins born before marriage, i didn't want her to equate marriage= right to have children, i also didn't want the school (which at the age we were talking her she saw as the ultimate truth anything they told her in those 4 walls) teach her the only type of "happy" and "good" family was a 2 parent married one as i can think of plenty happy who aren't and plenty married who frankly should not have been allowed to breed in a just world.

I will teach my children the important of self respect in reguards to abstinence but i don't expect the school to instill upon them morals which are only largely expected of certain religions, none of which my children are.

[Danielle]

I don't think schools should be teaching it context with marriage. That is a moral judgment that should remain the teaching of the parents. I do think they should stress it as part of sex education since it truly the only way that people can 100% avoid STDs and pregnancy.


ITA. That's what we'll be teaching at home so that's what I would prefer to be taught in the schools as well.

[gr8mommy]

I agree with Jo as well. A sex education that doesn't include abstinence as an option, and the only 100% way of remaining STD/pregnancy free, isn't any better than a curriculum teaching abstinence only (in my view). A full education offers all the facts, not just the ones that people with a certain agenda wish to emphasize.

I also offer the caveat to parochial and private schools---parents are paying for a certain viewpoint, and that can and should certainly be given priority. I still think they have a moral responsibility to ensure that their students know where to find more information, even if they don't wish to promote it.

[ColleenC]

I think it should be the schools job to teach safe sex ed. Especially in this day and age. I also agree with the others who said that sex until marraige should be left up to the parents to teach.

But by saying that my kids go to a Catholic School and will likely not be getting that LOL I went to a Catholic school too and I think we had sex ed maybe twice and it was more like how babies are made than anything else. :lmao

Too many kids are NOT getting this talk at home and instead are learning it from friends who usually don't have the right facts ;) Dh never got the talk at home at all and when he was in school in Chile he was actually taught that if he masturbates then his penis won't grow :lmao :lmao How ridiculous is that?> That was in the early 90's too.

[Lori]

I agree with Jo, as well. I do think that, as part of teaching factual information about sex, the fact that abstinence is the only 100% sure way to avoid pregnancy and STDs should be taught. But, I don't think that abstinence as a moral imperative has a place in public schools. I don't think public schools should teach children anything about when they should be having sex; those just aren't judgments it's their place to make.

[Jejune]

Given that Gabriel was ten months old when we were married, I think that any program placing a moral value on sex before marriage would be in a sticky spot with our family. We certainly plan on teaching our children to wait for real love and commitment of some kind, but not on waiting till marriage, and I fully believe that it is our responsibility to be the people who teach that end of things to our kids.

I also think that the schools have the responsibility to teach kids about comprehensive sex education which should span abstinence and birth control options and availability. So basically, another, "I agree with Jo." Jo, you're popular today!

[Polly]

I hate the fact that the federal government denies sex ed funding to public schools who refuse to teach abstinence OVER birth control. The state of Virginia has a few cities and counties (in VA you have cities that are independent of counties) that pay for their own programs rather than accept the federal mandate.

CJ and I have talked about this-if Elizabeth ends up in a public school that teaches abstinence because of the whole moral imperative thing, we will have a problem. They are violating our religious beliefs (Wicca and Deisim-which says sex outside of marriage is OK). Teaching sex is only appropriate within marriage in class creates (in legal terms) a climate of hostility to our child because of her religious beliefs. If they do not change the curriculum to reflect that different religions have different beliefs about the appropriateness of premarital sex, we will file suit. :soapbox

Polly

[Onyx]

I don't think it should be taught you should only have sex when you are married, but I do think it should be included as part of sex ed. I think it is msot important that kids know that sex doesnt =love or =popuilarity or anything like that. I think it is important for all people to know that sex is only when you are ready or want it and are ready for it - no one else should force you into or presure you into it.

[Grannyvon]

So many parents are not teaching their kids any thing, thats why so many teen pregancies. Well maybe that is not so because teens that are taught better sometimes end up pregant too. I personaly do not believe that our teens are mature enough to handle that kind of relationship. The course should be volentary if they are going to teach it but they should teach all forms of birth control but should be able to advise the best form is Wait!

[Sam]

I agree with everyone else :)

Looks like we all agree :)