That made me so sad(adoption story)

[Kristen]

I don't normally ever watch daytime TV, but Zoe went and turned the TV while we were doing school, and there was this adoption story on Discovery Health. This couple got pregnant with their second baby and then had financial and relationship troubles, and they agreed to put up the baby for adoption. The couple adopting were older(the wife was 40) and they decided not to even try to TTC due to her age and just adopt. It was an open adoption, and the adoptive parents were there for the birth. They all seemed nice, and they got along well and all, but watching it just made me SO sad! :( I watched that poor pregnant mom give birth to the baby(it was a home birth) and then she sat there holding the baby, stroking the baby's head and just gazing at her, and my heart was just breaking for her. I canNOT even imagine going through a whole pregnancy and delivering a baby and then going on with life without the baby! I can't imagine going thru all the post-partum recovery stuff and having no baby in my arms.

I give her all the credit in the world for choosing to give her baby to someone else instead of aborting, but I don't think I could do it. I would never abort, but if I had to eat macaroni and cheese for the rest of my days and rent a small apartment, I'd do it if it meant I could keep my baby....I really think I'd sacrifice whatever it took, because I don't think I could ever recover from giving up my baby. I know that could be seen as selfish, but I just don't think I could handle anything else.

and when Zoe gets up from her nap, I am so giving her an enormous hug, because I am so happy I didn't have to give her up.

[Danielle]

A friend of mine gave up her second baby (same father but the relationship was bad). I was there for the birth and got to tell the adoptive parents they had a little girl. She did it because she felt that both her children would suffer if she kept the new baby. For her, it worked out fabulously. She gets regular updates from the family (child is now 8) and that little girl has EVERYTHING she could ever want and more! As for my friend, she was able to go back to school, get a f/t job and make a great life for herself and her older child. Actually, she got married last summer to a great guy.

Just thought I'd share that because it was such a great decision for her, I'm not sure I could be that strong though...

[Kristen]

Oh yeah, I'm not trying to say that it's necessarily a bad decision(or a good one...it all depends on each situation!). I just don't think that *I* could do it. Even aside from my horrible pregnancies(which do affect my take on this some, I think...with the suffering I endure, I want something to show for it at the end!), I think I would not be able to emotionally detach myself from the baby. I know there would be this big hole in my heart.

[Kristi]

Wow I cannot imagine doing that. It had to be so hard for the birthmother. She has a lot of courage to be able to give her baby to someone like that. I just cannot imagine having to do that.

[Lori]

I really can't imagine giving a child up for adoption, because I think I would always be wondering about them. At the same time, I'm lucky enough to know that, if I were to become pregnant at a time when we financially just couldn't do it, our families would definitely give us whatever help we needed to make sure we could get by.

I think adoption is great for people who really don't want to raise their child, or feel entirely unable to do so, but I do feel bad for people who really do want to raise their child, but can't for financial reasons. I think that's a terrible position to be put in, and I'd much rather see those people get the financial support they need so they can raise their child than to give their child up for adoption when it's not what they want. I feel the same way about parents who pressure teenage mothers into adoption. I think it's a great option for some pregnant teenagers, who really don't want to raise a child, but I don't think it's the best solution for every teenage parent, and that many, with the right support, would be fully capable of raising their child well and probably much happier in the long run if that were presented as an option.

[Jenny]

I also can't imagine giving up a subsequent child up for adoption either. I admire women who are able to do this (and men too, as the father was in the picture giving the baby up too).