Are we over-sexualizing girls?

[Polly]

Here's the link:http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/02/16/AR2007021602263.html

In addition to the study the article premise is based on, I remember reading a study that said girls are getting their periods at an earlier age-a clear correlation to society's over-sexualizing them.

Yeah-I think fashion especially isn't helpful right now. I grew up in the 80s. Hey-baggy clothes were in in 85. I think I could have put two of me in some of my sweatshirts.

Polly

[Lori]

I think it's a problem, but I also think that it's a problem for a different reason than we sometimes like to imagine it's a problem. If nobody were buying their 8-year-olds miniskirts and halter tops, nobody would make them. The fault doesn't lie with the designers--who, as people working for a corporation, are legally required to put out whatever product will bring in the highest profit--but with the parents who are buying this for their kids.

I think that when we value girls' appearance above all else--which is certainly nothing new--then this is what happens. I think we send girls horribly mixed messages. On the one hand, we want them to be gorgeous and sexy and attractive to the opposite sex (which proves their "normal" and everybody wants their child to be "normal"); on the other hand, we don't want them having sex. I don't think you can have it both ways. If you instill in girls the sense that their highest value comes from what boys and men think about them, then you can't act surprised when you find out that they are having sex.

[off-kilter]

I do think we're placing a heavy burden on *all* of society to be "sexy" and hot. Just scroll through some MySpace pages to see that!

In addition to the study the article premise is based on, I remember reading a study that said girls are getting their periods at an earlier age-a clear correlation to society's over-sexualizing them.

Actually, there's a pretty strong corrolation with abundant nutritious food (especially fatty foods) and an earlier menachre in girls; I think you're seeing society respond more to this physical maturing as a sexual "go ahead" rather than the viewing them as sexual beings making their bodies adjust.

[Val]

I think it's a big problem. My pet peeves are the Kids Bop cd's where they have "kid friendly" songs, which really just means kids sing the same lyrics- so in a lot of cases I'm listening to kids sing a song about sex, casual sex, drug use, etc. Drives me nuts.
Another thing is the clothes. For Christmas I was looking for a dress for my niece and I went to Limited Too. Every dress they had was a strapless, sparkly, wanna-be teenaged version of something I thought probably looked like a hooker's dress to begin with.

[Christine]

I definitely think it's a problem and one with many root causes.

We definitely put a high price on physical attractiveness across the board. Skinny women, tight clothes, revealing cuts and postures - it's a problem for women too and it's trickling down to the young girls. It seems to me that a young girl is applauded for looking adult-ish and I have a big problem with that!

Yes, people buy the clothes but as a mom with four girls I can tell you it's REALLY hard to find hip modest clothing that I can afford.

It's a problem across the board and it is a major pet peeve of mine!

[Beka]

yes yes we do and as a mother of "2 of each" i have massive issues with firstly them sexualising girls and girls feeling pressure to grow up faster and secondly the lead it has on boys believing they have to respond to that sexualisation.

As off-kilter (ohhhh i so need to get off my ass and learn first names!) puts it very well i agree that the earlier menstruation can largely be attributed to improved diet as it is closely correlated to weight gain when the onset of puberty (and menstruation as part of that) begins, I did look into this in depth a short while ago when my eldest daughter began showing obvious signs of puberty at age 8, much earlier than we expected, and it is largely related to weight triggering it all. I do acknowledge several studies however link sexual abuse to earlier menstruation but i believe that is an extremely minute % of the lower start of menarche we are seeing as a generation overall.

David and I were discussing regional variations on age actually- where my children are being raised girls are expected to grow up faster than where my sister lives and teaches children the same age as my DD1, it's a more affluent area, children are more sheltered and childhood is prolonged for them by the expectation of remaining in education longer and the higher likelihood of being able to remain a dependant of their parent for more years than in a less affluent family where at the very least a child would have to begin work if they wish to remain in the family home beyond age 17/18.

My daughter at age 9 is significantly more fashion conscious than i ever was at that age- am i responsible for that? In the sense i do not instill "have to be fashionable" into her no but in the sense have i sheltered her entirely from the media that portrays women and girls as they do then yes i am, but i also believe i'd have had to raise her in a void for her not to see sexualised images as "the fashion". When i was 9 I wanted to be a thundercat, she is 9 she wants to be a marine biologist or the first female prime minister since Margaret Thatcher, where our generation was expected to enjoy being children ours are increasingly pushed to consider their future because sucess in the adult world is becoming increasingly more difficult to achieve and we can't encourage them to think of the future without expecting that to bring a desire to be more grown up and adult.

Television rarely has the waltons view of childhood anymore- teens are played by 20 somethings and made to look glossy, kids have always wanted to be like characters on tv and in books so the more they are sexualised the more we see this change. I can't blame my daughter for wanting to be like the cool person on tv especially not when that character is meant to only be 2 or 3 years her senior, to DD1 she is thinking she's going to be that when she is 12/13 and wants to start trying to be like it.

Like Christine i struggle to find clothing i am comfortable with my girls wearing but at the same time not making them the weird uncool kid and my oldest girl only wears an age 10. I am not a prudish mother, i consider myself very progressive and quite liberal but i also don't wish to make my daughters targets for unnecessary intentions at an age when they are not equipt to deal with it emotionally, i don't have objection to short skirts but there is short and there is shocking, i don't have objection to fitted jeans which are all the rage for DD1's age group but there is fitted and their is fitted showing one's bum crease and that is wear i draw the line between fashion and unsuitable.

[Beka]

Coming back to this i have to say what i worry about most is children effected by this who are not being raised in households that teach self respect and self esteem- what brings me to this is the other week i was out walking with my 9 year old DD and she does look much older than she is, she is getting hips and boobs, she has a distinct waist- she is attractive and thin naturally (doesn't get it from short stout old me!!!!) but we were passed by a group of boys i know are 13/14 and on walking passed one of them actually stopped, looked DD1 up and down and said to his friend "She's fit" (fit being "sexy" or "fanciable" or "hot" whatever term you use for you'd give it a go :eek ) and his friend nodded, winked at DD1 and they walked off leaving me entirely :noway stood next to her not entirely sure what i was meant to do on that one as i didn't want to say "no, no she's not" and trample dd1s feelings but I was so not ready for that sort of situation, she's not even 10 but clearly to talk about her like that she *appears* much more mature than she actually is and that does indeed worry me, we are raising DD1 with enough self esteem to just shrug it off and get on with having fun with her friends but a child raised in a house with less self esteem/respect instilled into them could easily get into situations beyond their years because they *appear* more mature than they actually are.

[Kristen]

Yes, I definitely do. I think that at least some of the pressure on my girls will be relieved because we homeschool...the atmosphere in high school isn't at all helpful on this front, and it comes at a time when girls are just about at their most vulnerable. I know when I was 13, it was probably the most awkward time of my whole life as far as how I felt about my body! :p

I agree with off-kilter in that all of society is way too enamored with being sexy and hot and beautiful on the outside(see my rant on the plastic surgery thread for more on that). Hopefully Steve and I will be able to raise our girls to understand that they are WAY more than their appearance.

I was confused about the mom in the article who was so upset about the teen magazines and the message they present, but was obviously doing nothing to limit her daughter's exposure to that message. I don't think she is taking it as seriously as she thinks she is...if there were, for instance, a magazine with articles about how to make bombs and blow up buildings for fun, she wouldn't let her daughter have those magazines, and she wouldn't say, "yeah, but there are some great fashion articles in there too!".

I also am just :rolleyes at the Bratz manufacturer who doesn't think that Bratz are sexy. Riiiiight.

Regarding the earlier periods thing, I think it's related to eating processed foods, and especially foods with hormones in them. We're pretty careful about not eating most of that stuff, so hopefully my girls will not have early-onset puberty. I didn't get a really regular period until my mid to late teens, and I attribute that to my diet.

[Victoria]

Earlier periods are definitely tied to weight, right around 100 lbs is the magic number, it makes sense that it is weight that integral to the start of menses because when a woman have a very low fat ratio because of super serious athletic training (a la super marathons) or has anorexia, they stop menstruating.