Is it better to raise kids in a small town?

[Jenny]

or a big suburb??

I am torn on this one. I think we live in a "between" place where we have a smallish town feel, but have all the amnenities of a bit suburb.

They are busy enough as a suburb would, but the community feel of a small town is still there.

I do want to move to a small town to raise the kids.

[Beka]

i think both have it's advantages and it depends very much on how likely those children would be to want to stay in a small community once grown as the adaptation from small community to larger living always seems significantly harder than the opposite, going city life to small town is a big slow down in pace, increased feeling of personal safety and fresher living but the other way around is being thrust into a much more fast paced world with higher crime, a bigger need for awareness over personal safety and ultimately less trust in fellow man.

I have been raised in a large town (120k or so) which is city overspill my whole life, i appreciate the diversity it has taught me, the availability of resources, choices of schools due to being in such a large town ( we have more than half a dozen high schools, over 20 middle schools and must be 50+ primary schools so selection is good if you can travel.) I don't feel living in a smaller community makes one more isolated though as i think a vast effect on how isolated one feels stems from their own ability to intergrate and seek out socialisation and also the availability of transport, you can be isolated in a city of 200k plus if you have little/no transport. It can be a very isolated life for me- there are so many people it's easy to become faceless (although i am the talky person up and school everyone knows :lmao ) we have no car so no individual transport (size of the town makes it difficult to reach many amenities on foot) and our neighbourhood is such a crime zone public transport (buses) won't run into it past 6pm nor before 7am and taxi's charge a premium rate for a pick up or drop off in our estate:rolleyes which sucks as we are stuck with a stigma that developed in the 70's and although we have significantly higher crime than most areas i walk around here without david daily.

Do i believe children are safer in a smaller community? No, the vast majority of assaulted, abused and child murder victims have known their predator and weirdos can travel, they don't exclusively confine themselves to their home environment to commit their crimes. Obviously traffic danger, influence of drugs, gangs etc are all higher in larger areas but if you're raising your child to be street smart, aware of these life dangers then hopefully they will never become a victim.

I can think of personal examples of people from small sheltered communities who have been shell shocked when entering city living but I also realise they are not a true representative sample as so much depends upon how a person is raised, not just wear a person is raised, i am certain there are those that thrive with the move.

Ideally would i like to move my children to a smaller town or coastal area? Yes, yes i would as i don't like them having to wake up in a street with smashed windows, car thefts, aware so and so's dad "beat on" such and such's dad and i also believe environmentally there would be a better standard of living for them. I also believe it would be easier to instill the ethos that they can and will achieve in life in a more positive environment than many cities provide but i could equally do that given the opportunity to live in a nicer area of a big town/city.

[Lori]

I don't really know. I grew up in a fairly large suburb, Sean grew up in a small town, and now we live in a large city, and I can see plusses and minuses to all of them.

[Shasta]

I'm not really sure, I grew up in a small town and that's also where we're raising our kids...I love it but I've never experienced city/suburbs so I can't really say.

[Val]

I think they both have ups and downs and it's just a personal choice what you would prefer. I go back and forth. We've stayed here because of work. If we did move to a small town, I can't imagine what kind of job either of us would possibly find.

[Kristi]

I agree they both have their benefits. Tim is from a small town and i am from a big city. We are kind of in betweenish right now though leaning more towards a big city than a small town. Personally I adore city life because there is always something going on. But I hear Tim talk about all the neat things he got to do growing up in the country and kind of want that for the kids too.

[Jo]

I am a city girl at heart. I am still not a big fan of the burbs even though we live there. It makes more sense with kids. I sometimes think about living in a small town but I know I would end up hating it. I like the city noises, the diversity, the culture and all the different things for kids to do. So for the foreseeable future, we will live in the burbs so we can take advantage of what a city has to offer.

[Lori]

I just wanted to add, from my experience of living in both a suburb and a city, I actually think there's a much stronger sense of community in a city than in the suburbs. Growing up, and when Sean and I lived in the suburbs, we really didn't know any of our neighbors, and there wasn't much sense of community or effort to get to know anyone else. Now that we live in a city, our neighborhood actually has a very strong sense of community and people are just a lot more friendly and involved in each other's lives.

I've never lived in a small town, though, so I have no idea what that's like in terms of community. For us, we think we'd prefer to either live in a city (just not this one!) or in a small town; suburban life, while it definitely has some good sides, isn't really for us.

[Polly]

First, cue music. (John Cougar Mellencamp's "Small Town."):party

Second, are the parents both happy in a small town?

Third, are there enough resources for your family in a small town? Meaning the types of doctors you need, educational resources (Speciall Ed, Gifted and Talented programs, after school activities other than sports) and recreational/cultural resources?

Fourth-are their enough job opportunities that you desire and are eligible for?

Everyone has different needs. Ultimintly, these needs determine where you can live and be happy.

Some small towns can meet all of these things, some can't. But the same is true for the suburbs and the city.

Polly

[Shana]

I'll just say a great BIG "I agree" to Polly :D

[Jejune]

We've only lived in large cities since we started having kids. I was raised in the suburbs, and I wanted to move back to the suburbs, but I've actually come to love living in a city. There are many disadvantages, but many advantages, too. Going back home to the suburbs to visit my family, I see how far you have to drive for anything to do, and that puts me off.

But it absolutely depends on the family! We tend toward extremes - we either want to live in the city or out in the middle of nowhere. We're not in between sorts.

[Grannyvon]

There is definately a advantage in knowing what our kids are doing. Most of the time if my kids did something wrong I knew it before they got home. Didn't always make me happy with the caller but it game me information that I never would have had in a big city.
I don't know how many kids called me mother along with other mothers when mine were growing up. Now I go to the ball field and most everybody there calls me Nana. My close friends policed my kids as I did theirs. Helped having help to raising my kids.

[Maleah]

Second, are the parents both happy in a small town?

Third, are there enough resources for your family in a small town? Meaning the types of doctors you need, educational resources (Speciall Ed, Gifted and Talented programs, after school activities other than sports) and recreational/cultural resources?

Fourth-are their enough job opportunities that you desire and are eligible for?



We'll I guess define small. Right now the community that we live in has a population of 43. (I guess when we moved in they had a explosion in population this year.) The town right down the road was the murder capitol of the world per capita because they had a double homicide and 2 singles in one year. I grew up here and my graduation class (the largest one in serveral years) was about 30. Its a 25 minute drive to "town" to the nearest McDonald's, Wal-Mart, etc. That town has a population of 5,000. Anything larger than that is 90 minutes away at least.

I've lived in Houston and Atlanta for a few years each so I think I am qualified to answer this question. :giggle

I am not happy living here. There are too many people with big fish, small pond syndrome. I hate the general attuide of the people here. Maybe its a local thing. But this is what I have to do to make it by now. I don't have a support system to help me with all of the kids anywhere else.

There are tons of after school activities here so I'm not worried about anything like that and I don't mind traveling for educational opportunties. The schools are subpar in my opinion. They just don't have the funding, staff or the students to provide anything other than basic education. Health care has gotten better in recent years. They've added to the hospital, but there is still only one OB in the county, one general surgeon, etc. They have specialist that come down once a week. Anything pressing or intensive requires a 3 hour drive one way.

Cultural resources? :rofl This is WASP central. There's still an active KKK here.

And jobs? Almost non-existant.

[ColleenC]

It all depends on your family like Polly said.

My mom just moved to a small town because she craved a slower pace. Her town has about 5000 in it.

Steve and I have talked about moving there, but I am REALLY a city person. I have lived in this City my entire life and I love that everything you need is here. The biggest drawback to me is the education in small towns. They don't offer spanish bilingual and I am adamant that both kids go to spanish bilingual.

Plus although I can find an office job just about anywhere, Steve's business is here and he can't drive an hour + to work everyday. Just wouldnt work. He'd have to give up tennis too which is NOT going to happen anytime soon.