Other children in the family?

[Beka]

How do you keep the balance between attending to all the necessary requirements, drs appt, therapists and general day to day demands of having a child with special needs and ensuring your other children get the necessary attention?

Also what about the emotional impact on your other children?

I am asking because life since Jude arrived has always been a finely tuned balancing act as Jude is hard work, with Dyl and loks arriving again we juggled, we get things done. We've always done pretty well.

On friday I did my usual sort through Chases school bag and I found paperwork to say she's been placed on the national register of gifted children- this is practically unheard of for kids from our background and I am amazingly proud but she hadn't told us. When we asked her why she told us she knows we have alot going on with Jude and that she didn't want us to think she was bragging and laughing at Jude and Dyl for needing the help they're getting at school when it's been a total walk in the park for her. We talked alot about how everyones achievements are important and how she still is too and although i may juggle alot there is always room to juggle her into the equation too and that nothing has changed with Dyl starting speech therapy and Jude under going assessments and investigations.

So- how do you deal as this is all new territory for me.

[Sam]

It is tough and honestly I can only stretch so far so I make sure the times I am too busy with one of them that Tom takes over with the others when he can, even if it is reading them a story in bed.

I have 4 kids, 3 of them are emotionally the same age roughly and a busy baby so it is very hard to get meet everyones needs all of the time. Jasmine is here on the weekends so she gets that time alone, Jack is here in the mornings with her so he gets more time then but he starts full time school soon so it will make it harder.

They all pitch in together, Ross is extremely good at helping me deal with Elliots paddys if I am really busy, and if Ross is having a big panic attack we all pitch in and help him settle down.

I wish I had more tips for you but some days I do not know how I do it myself, you seem to fall into a good pattern and make the best of a hard situation somehow.

[Jo]

It is hard at times. The important thing is to make sure you make time for each of them. Have a sit down, go out to lunch or something. Have a heart to heart to let her know that this isn't her burden to carry and that you want to help her and be there for her just like any of the other kids.

It is hard to balance it all. Sometimes one will be left out for the needs of another. But sometimes the special needs one will also be left out due to a regular need of a sibling. You will also need to accept that is OK too. The important things is when the kids look back, they feel they were all treated fairly and that you were there on the whole meeting their needs. They will also grow up and realize that Moms just can't meet everyone's needs at the same time but they do get the job done in the end.

[Hearsay]

My daughter is often neglected at bathtime. The boys spend 1-2 hours a day in the bathroom with their bath, filing the skin, trimming the nails, cleaning the ears and applying lotions. My daughter can be in and out in 5 minutes and can go directly to dressing herself. I try to have her help me. Her special job is to cream the baby and my older one's back while I finish my own shower. I also send her to get a diaper, socks, etc for the boys so she has a job to do. Fortunately, most of the rest of the day is normal4, so I try to make up that time later on.