View Full Version : Do you have any "toxic" family or aquaintances...
...that you have chosen to cut out of your life/your family life for the good of yourself and your immediate family?
(Toxic being people who have an extremely negative emotional effect upon your personal emotional well being.)
How do you find this has effected your life and/or other relationships?
Christine
10-30-2007, 06:24 AM
For the most part, we've chosen to cut Dave's sister out of our lives. For a while there, we only saw her once or twice a year at family events, even though she lived in the same town. Now that she's dumped the idiot she was married to and is engaged to an old friend of Dave's, there's more of a relationship again. We're still very cautious, though, because the water under the bridge is FULL of man-eating barracudas! :giggle
My inlaws understand and we don't make a stink about it. We don't stay away from things because she's going to be there. We've just chosen to not have a relationship with her outside of the family. We used to be very good friends with her, so that alone is enough of a change.
Brooke
11-03-2007, 10:53 PM
YES! And unfortunately, it's most of my Mom's family and part of my Dad's.
My Mom has 7 brothers and sisters. The onle one we speak to is her twin and her three daughters, who are like sisters to me. The rest are toxic, horrible and vindictive. I refuse to let my children grow up with the same manipulation and guilt trips that I did. As much as I love having a big family, if they act like that, I don't need them in my life.
amandajo
11-06-2007, 02:35 PM
Yes
Kristi
11-06-2007, 04:25 PM
Yes I had a friend in Italy who I stopped talking to because of certain things she was saying and doing. It didn't really cause any problems. I just slowly stopped calling her and I think she got the point.
She would get upset at me because I didn't want to bring my children over during parties and drink with her. Or go to bars when I was pregnant. There were alot of other things too. I just didn't agree with her lifestyle and the things she exposed her children to.
Shana
11-09-2007, 06:42 AM
Yes, definitely. I have one friend whom I really do dearly love, but she is very toxic. The process of slowly moving her into more of an "acquaintance" role (from previously being a very very close friend) has been very long and has caused a lot of hurt feelings (on both of our parts).
But, it needed to be done, because she just brought me down SO much. We talk now occasionally on the phone, or by email (maybe 2x per month), but I hardly ever see her.
Yes...my aunt. But we don't see her anymore. Now that my Grandma is dead, we don't have to deal much with my Uncle or Aunt so it isn't a problem. I wish I knew some of my cousins better but when we went to my Grandma's funeral, it was clear at least one was an apple that fell right next to the tree.
Amber
11-09-2007, 12:34 PM
I had two "toxic" friends in the past who I had to cut ties with. With one, I just allowed us to drift apart & I still have a lot of mixed feelings about that. With the other, I told her in no uncertain terms that I could not remain friends with her because of X,Y, & Z. I feel like I have a lot more closure in that relationship.
And while I'm hesitant to label my husband as "toxic", we are divorcing because of behaviors of his that I can't tolerate. I don't feel like staying in a relationship with him is a healthy thing for me or my children.
freebiemom
11-09-2007, 02:14 PM
Yes. I felt it was best for me and my family to cut certain people out of my life and am actually a happier person because of it.
amandajo
11-09-2007, 04:34 PM
"We're still very cautious, though, because the water under the bridge is FULL of man-eating barracudas!" -- Wise Words!
Yes, all of my family apart from my full blood siblings, mum and Toms family.
I have pretty much cut everyone out of my life who is toxic since meeting Tom, I just have no need to be around people who make me feel bad.
Faith
11-12-2007, 12:26 AM
Yes....I have a friend who drifted away but shows up every once in a while. I chose not to get close to her again because it was a toxic relationship. I miss the good times we had, but the peace of mind not having her in my life is alot better than those good times.
There's one member of my family who is not toxic so much as out and out abusive - but due to distance etc I can keep him away from Maia and I.
Danielle
11-30-2007, 05:26 PM
Not really. I have several relatives that I'm not close to and others that I think are screwed up but no one really toxic.
TracyS
12-01-2007, 01:01 PM
Quite a few friends. They're the ones who only call on us when they need us but are never available any other time.
I've been here for 2 yrs & beside my folks & 1 other friend whom I've known since childhood no one else has been by the house. Oddly enough now that we've bought a place & will be moving out of the city many of these people are throwing fits. One couple will only come by if Dh is home & says those false "we should get together sometime" comments. Last time we heard from them was back in July & I wasn't even a part of that day. They threw a huge hissy fit when we didn't attend their childs bday party the other day that they gave 2 days notice for.