For those who have been in a realtionship for longer

[Sam]

Than a few years,did you find you argued/had disagreements more at the early stage of your relationship or do you argue more now you have been together for a good while?

Me and Tom never argue,we just don't really disagree on anything. I was reading on another website how most people argue more at the beginning of their relationship but I always thought people usually argue more the longer they have been together,if they argue at all that is.

[SabrinaJL]

Hmmm, I guess we argued more at the beginning, but it was about stupid stuff. Now the arguments are generally about the big things (money and the kids). We don't argue much (so long as he realizes I'm right and just goes with it). LOL

[Amy J]

we argued more right after Tristan was born but since then we've been fine. We've had a few arguments over the years but nothing that would be scary or would cause me to take the kids and run.

[Kristen]

Hmmm....I think we've argued more just during stressful times in our lives, regardless of when those stressful times have been. The first 6 months of Joshua's life come to mind, as does the summer we moved into this fixer-upper and also found out we were expecting Zoe. Those two times were at year 2 and year 9 of our marriage.

[Lori]

We have periods where we argue a lot, and periods where we don't argue at all, but I would say that, over the years, the times when we argue get a lot get shorter and farther between, and the periods where we don't argue are longer and more frequent.

For us, the issues that we argue over tend to be issues we've always had; it's not like we've had a bunch of new issues develop over the years that we need to deal with. So, we know better now how to deal with things when they do come up, because we've been dealing with them for ten years now.

[Tlee]

We never argued in the beginning of our relationship. There was a lot less stress back then. We have had a few rough patches but most of the time we argue about stupid stuff.

[Jejune]

What Kristen said. We argue when we're stressed, and that seems to have nothing to do with the length of time we've been together.

[Brooke]

We have periods where we argue a lot, and periods where we don't argue at all, but I would say that, over the years, the times when we argue get a lot get shorter and farther between, and the periods where we don't argue are longer and more frequent.

For us, the issues that we argue over tend to be issues we've always had; it's not like we've had a bunch of new issues develop over the years that we need to deal with. So, we know better now how to deal with things when they do come up, because we've been dealing with them for ten years now.

That is exactly how our relationship is. Except it's been a bit over 5 years, not 10.

[Val]

We never argued in the begining. Then there were a few years where we argued a lot and now it's like what Kristen and Lori mentioned- during times of stress, and typically over the same things that have been going on for (uh how many years have we been together?) 7 years.

[Jo]

I do think Dave and I argued more towards the beginning but not in the early stage. It was the part that came right after the honeymoon stage. Looking back, those arguments which were so important at the time were over the silliest things. We don't argue much anymore but when we do, it is over big issues.

[Amber]

The first 6 months or so went really smoothly. Then from about 6 months to 3 years of marriage, it was VERY turbulent. We argued about everything--mostly stuff that didn't matter.

Now (7 1/2 years), we still argue, but not as often & not about trivial stuff. When we argue, it's about major issues.

[Kristi]

We did not argue much the first year. Of course he was out to see for five months of it. :giggle Like Kristen said we argue more at stressful times. Like when we first moved to Italy because it was hard on us. After my sister died because I resented not being able to go home for her funeral plus had a newborn baby who was very high needs. And then again when we were getting ready to leave Italy and while we were in the process of buying this house. OUr last big fight was something silly that seemed important to me in Dec. Since then we have been working on things really hard and have not had a major arguement in over 2 months.

[Christine]

We argued a lot at the beginning of our relationship. I think it really has less to do with the stage of the relationship and more to do with the personality of the people in the relationship. Dave and I are very outspoken and bullheaded so we tend to bicker a lot even after 12 years! We don't argue anymore - not like we used to - but if we don't see eye-to-eye on something, we're very vocal about it. I don't think it's a sign of instability, just our personalities.

[Shasta]

We argue way more now than we ever did in the beginning.

[Beka]

We never argued in the beginning of our relationship. There was a lot less stress back then. We have had a few rough patches but most of the time we argue about stupid stuff.

yep that- we argue more when stressed as well but the beginning of our relationship was pretty rose-tinted even though we were dealing with having Chase and moving (only downspell then was my having PPD) but i suppose with you and Tom both being older and more aware of the real world so to speak (at 17 i was still so clueless as to the reality of life as it would be) so maybe that is why- alot of the realisations that didn't kick in until we had experienced a little more life for David and I are probably ones you both realised long ago as full grown adults?

David and I have a pretty firey (yet respectful and loving) relationship anyway and i believe it's healthier for us to argue, vent, get it out, talk it through and resolve issues than it is one of us sit stewing on it for years (as i am quite an irrational person at times it sometimes takes the argument to see exactly how irrational i am being and work through something)

[Jurgita]

We argue way more now than we ever did in the beginning.

Same here.

[ColleenC]

The first year we rarely argued. But I got pregnant 5 months into our relationship and it was NOT at all expected. Megan was born when we had been together 14 months and the next year was HELL with us. We argued everyday over everything. We had one last HUGE argument that will haunt me to this day and that was it. Now we still fight but mostly when we are stressed(or I should say when I am stressed) LOL