View Full Version : If you planned your pregnancies, which was the hardest to decide on?
If you planned your pregnancies, did you find it hardest to decide to TTC the first time, or were subsequent pregnancies harder to decide to go for?
I am finding it sooooooooo much harder to make the decision to TTC this time than I did last time. I think the big issue for me is that, before Thomas, I was operating under the lovely delusion that I'd be an absolutely fantastic mother. ;) Now that I know the truth--that I'm actually just pretty so-so at it most of the time--it's a lot harder to just jump in with both feet.
Erika
10-01-2007, 02:57 PM
still only 1 baby and not TTC yet. But I am the same as you.
I got the TTC bug when I was 21. We started when I wa 23 and I just knew this was what I wanted.
Now I have Sasha, and eventhough it took so long to get her and I'm not sure how long it will take next time, I'm just not even sure I want to try again.
And it isn't because of how hard it was to TTC the first time. I love Sasha and I'm not sure I want her to have to share me. I love our little family of 3 and I'm not sure I want to expand it.
Then I have days when I think I want at least one more, if not two. James is the exact same as me. I adored pregnancy and part of me wonders if I only want to TTC again just to be pregnant.
Right now I'm not sure I would ahve the energy for another child. I'm not sure I could go through another hellish newborn stage.
But at the same time, I know I would be thrilled to find out I was pregnant tomorrow. It is just the TTC part. Getting pregnant accidentally - fine! TTC - not sure yet LOL
(however, my gut does say that I will TTC again LOL)
The hardest for me has been the as yet unconceived potential fourth child. I always wanted at least three - so the timing was the only think we had to figure out. Figuring out whether to have one more has been tough, and we still haven't decided.
Well we never decided to TTC our first, she just happened, however when we decided to keep and raise her together we did decide if we had one child, we would have a family- not just be a couple with a child but a larger family. In that sense deciding to ttc for a second child was extremely easy, natural progression for us as it was based more around what age DD1 had reached than it was around practicalities such as career goals, home ownership etc, we were more concerned about giving her a sibling first and making up for those other things in the future as she was growing fast but the house market wasn't suddenly going to vanish, neither was our chance to return to school.
We didn't decided to ttc a 3rd but we always knew we wanted one, we just never thought it possible so it was the most amazing shock to discover we were pg within weeks of our "miracle" baby being born.
Deciding to TTC #4 was a really natural progression too for us- largely fuelled by the assumption we would complete our family and then begin on the materialistic goals and here we are, 4th child arrived at Christmas and David back in school.
Erika
10-01-2007, 03:26 PM
Another thing to add -
Eventhough I got pregnant and thus am technically no longer "infertile", I still have a fear that I won't easily get pregnant again next time. That is another negative towards TTC. I'm not sure I can go through years of trying and hoping.
Well, we didn't actually TTC for #2 but we were in the process of deciding whether or not we wanted a second at all when I got pg -- I wasn't sure I wanted two. So definitely #2 was way harder to decide on than #1 had been. If I hadn't become pregnant accidentally I don't know that I'd ever have been able to make up my mind!
Christine
10-01-2007, 04:02 PM
It was hard to figure out #2. I knew I wanted Morgan to have a sibling but that whole "spacing" issue was a real stumper for me.
Christi
10-01-2007, 06:34 PM
We couldn't decide when to start trying for #2, so we decided we'd just come off BCP and see where it went....and lo and behold, Adam was concieved the next month!
Jejune
10-01-2007, 06:54 PM
I knew I wanted another baby about two years apart from Gabriel. I wasn't sure we'd be financially able to do that. We were in a good place financially when Gabriel hit 18 months old, and I got very clucky. He was such a good little guy, and I really wanted a sibling for him. Daniel wanted to wait. When Gabriel was 19 months old, Daniel suddenly just said, "Let's go for it. Let's have another baby," and since we got pregnant within the same day, there was no time to dither about it. Of course, he got laid off when I was 5 months pregnant, so my financial planning was all moot. I do not seem to be able to plan as well as I'd like.
My pregnancies with Gabriel and Eleanor were not planned.
amandajo
10-14-2007, 05:48 PM
This post is hilarious. It was harder for us to decide to TTC #2, because we know what we're in for! DD is cute, though, that's how they lure you in -- oh, I'm cute, have another one of me.
Kristen
10-14-2007, 06:46 PM
Well, we only planned one of ours, and that would be Sonia. So, I guess #3 would be my answer, by default. :p
I would have been hard-pressed to decide to TTC #2, though...I had a hard pregnancy the first go-round, and then I had a hellish newborn stage to deal with too. I got pregnant by accident with Lisey, and had a bad start to my pregnancy, but then I got on some good drugs that actually worked for me. And then, Lisey was an angelic baby.
That's why I could even bring myself to decide to TTC and have Sonia...I thought I could just take the drugs again and have a relatively sickness free pregnancy, but no such luck. Had I known how awful my 3rd pregnancy was going to be, I doubt I'd have wanted to TTC.
Probably Mira. We were so fresh off of Rai's first hemispherectomy and terrified of history repeating itself even though we had no actual reason to be worried. Little did I know that I was going to be 37 weeks with Rai going back in for the full hemispherectomy.