How do you think YOU are in a relationship?

[Brooke]

Do you ever think about how good you are in a relationship? It could be as a sister, wife, husband, mom, friend, lover, etc. But do you ever wonder if the person you are in the relationship with sees your role in the relationship as you see it? Does that make sense? LOL

[Kristi]

It makes perfect sense Brooke. I sure hope that they do. I try to be supportive and loving to everyone in my life. I am never get nasty with anyone outside of Dh LOL But he totally deserves it when I do. I can very quiet and shy and just sit back and observe alot but I hope that people see that is how I am and do not see it as me not caring. I tend to keep my opinions in alot of the time unless someone asks me what i think. For awhile when we first started dating and even every once in awhile now I know Tim took my silence as me not caring or not trusting him enough to open up to him. But I think now he knows that is just part of my nature and accepts that. And once I get to really know someone I open up more and more so of course I am more out spoken with him now than I was in the beginning. I am sure he misses the early days sometimes. LOL I guess the whole point of my blabbering is that i hope that the people in my life understand how much they mean to me/ I do try to show them and let them know when I can. It is late so I hope this all makes sense :lmao

I do think about how people interpret the way that I am around them quite frequently

[Jenny]

Its something I have on my list to work on :(

I can be quite selfish in relationships, :(

[Kristen]

I think I am pretty good in a marriage relationship...at least, Steve thinks so! He tells me all the time how great I am and how much he appreciates how nice I am to him, and so on. I am not perfect, of course, and he gets annoyed with me sometimes, but overall, he says he is so happy that he married me.

I am not AS unselfish or patient a mother as I am in my wife role, so I could use some work there. I have an easier time in my relationship with Steve because he is not as needy as the kids....the kids are mostly in a 100% taking role right now, without giving a whole lot back in the way or help or appreciation, whereas Steve is very appreciative and doesn't take so much!

Anyhow, yes, I do often think about how I am doing in my relationship roles because I think that I need to be way more concerned about how I'm doing on MY side of the relationship than I need to be concerned about how the other person is doing.

[Christine]

I do wonder this a lot. I tend to be pretty hard on myself and always assume I could do a lot better. My girls, I know, see me as queen bee in their life and I often struggle with not feeling deserving of that. My husband - I know he appreciates what I do around here but I know I can be a complete PITA to live with too!

[Shana]

Well I have in the past, sucked mightily in the role of wife. I don't think that is because I cannot be a good wife. I think it was just the situation. I am greatly looking forward to being The Best Wife on the Face of the Planet :)

Ummm as a mother, I know full well that I am GREAT :D Not only do I adore my children (who doesn't?), but they have my full attention, whenever they need it or want it. I am *always there* for my kids, and I take a lot of pride in this. Obviously :D

[Beka]

as a wife i am a self confessed pain in the ass- if i'd married me i'd be a divorce statistic by now :lmao seriously! I could not live with me but evidentally David can, i suffer depression on and off and social anxiety too which must be hard for him to deal with but he does and he does it fantastically and as Jack Nicholson puts it in as good as it gets "you make me want to be better" - David is one of the few reasons i bothered with counselling, medication, therapy groups and generally making the day to day effort to live with depression as a part of me rather than allowing it to overwhelm me as it easily could at times. He told me once that he loves me and stays with me because "the good days make it all worth while"- so as a wife i concentrate on trying to make the good days happen more than the bad.

As a daughter i will merrily say i am a saint- i am committed to my extended family, i am always there for them, i support them emotionally and in the past have done so financially, i really do hope my own children have as much sense of family loyality in later life provided they don't have the overwhelming feeling of obligation and guilt i feel at the fact my sister has no sense of family- i guess in many ways i compensate for her lack of familiness.

as a mother i fear at times i might be harsh in my expectations of them- i hate weakness and vunerability so my children often (although they experience a great deal of affection also) experience periods where i will push them to achieve their full potential.

[Sam]

As a wife I was crap but as a "going to be a wife to Tom one day",I am good. I put a lot of effort in keeping our relationship a healthy one,I take time every day to discuss anything through with him,I help him over his bi polar episodes and support him while pushing him, which helps him achieve what he wants too when he is going through a rough patch and feels he is worthless.

I am sure I have areas to approve on,my mental illness can be tough to live with too but I think I play the part of fiance very well.

I am a good daughter. Beka said everything for me so I will just ditto her.

As a mother I have a lot of areas I need to improve on. I am a good mum but I think there are some things I need to change and I am working on those changes daily.

[Lori]

IMy girls, I know, see me as queen bee in their life and I often struggle with not feeling deserving of that.

I feel the same way about my role as a mother. I know I fall short in a lot of ways, but Thomas is just so loving and appreciative, and at this point his world just basically revolves around me, that I both feel so honored and proud that he feels that way and bad about not being the mother I'd like to be. But, I try, and I feel like Thomas and I are continually figuring out how best to relate to each other, and it seems like, even though there are a lot of very difficult times, on the whole being his mom gets easier rather than harder as he gets older.

As a wife, I think I do okay. I can be somewhat difficult to live with, but Sean is admittedly maddeningly difficult to live with and be around sometimes, and I do the best I can, which a lot of the time isn't that great. On the one hand, I know I could be more patient and more understanding; on the other hand, I feel like my marriage should be the most honest relationship in my life and I don't want to have to put on a show to keep anyone happy or tiptoe around so nothing ever upsets them.

But Sean is in a mood this weekend, and we've had a very rough day, so I'm probably a lot more dour about it than I usually would be.