Is it rude to give back a gift?

[Polly]

Here's the deal: my mom is demanding that I return a pair of gold baby earrings given to my daughter by a close family friend, Sabina. Mom claims I should return them because I don't hang out very much with Sabina anymore. (Anymore meaning since my daughter was born-dh and I have only recently become more social again. Before we were just too tired.) I haven't seen most of my friends in a while because most are single and on the non-baby schedule. We keep in touch through emails and phone calls. My dh equates giving back the earrings as. A. Rude and B. Stealing from our daughter. I told my mom Sabina would find it hurtful. Thoughts?

Polly

[Nona]

Yes, I would consider it rude and hurtful to be given back a gift. Your Mom's reasoning doesn't make sense to me either. If you feel bad about not hanging out with Sabina, the only way to correct it is to spend more time with her. It would cause an unnecessarily awkward situation to give a gift back, and it wouldn't solve anything.

[Jo]

You know my answer. You mom is insane and no, you shouldn't give back the earrings.LOL Have you talked to Sabina yet?

[Lori]

ITA with Val and Jo, and I really don't understand your mom's reasoning, either. If a friend gave me back a gift I gave them, I'd think it was rude and I'd assume that they didn't want to be friends any more.

Now, I suppose it's possible that if a former friend asked for a gift back, and you didn't, that could maybe possibly be construed as rude by someone, although even in that case I wouldn't consider it rude. A gift is a gift. When you give it to someone else, it becomes their property, and you no longer have any more claim to it than you do to anything else they own.

I associate giving back gifts with bad break-ups, and I would assume that someone probably never wanted to see me again if they returned a gift I gave them.

[Shasta]

I completely agree with the other ladies.;)

[Jurgita]

You know my answer. You mom is insane and no, you shouldn't give back the earrings.LOL Have you talked to Sabina yet?

My thoughts exactly! I don't think you should give them back at all!

[Kristen]

Your mom IS insane!!! I have never heard of such a thing.

LOL

[Kristi]

I agree with the other ladies. I would be very hurt if someone gave back a gift I gave them for their child. Even if they explained the reason;. If someone said it was because we did not hang out much anymore I would tell them they were silly and to keep it :giggle

[Beka]

If I were the friend i'd feel insulted if you gave them back, a gift is given in the spirit of the moment and reguardless of if a relationship between friends has died down a little with a change in lifestyle it doesn't change the spirit in which the gift was first given, giving a baby a first gift like that is meant to be special and despite your friendship dying down a little since your daughters birth it doesn't detract from who she once was in your life.

My daughter has a lovely St Christopher given to her by my old bestfriend at her baptism, she's 9 now and he's seen her maybe 4 times in her whole life- and one of those he was her brothers ER nurse (so had no intention of actually seeing her!!!) I wouldn't dream of returning it though because he was important in her life at the time she was born & baptised.

[ColleenC]

Yeah I don't think you should give them back either.

[Val]

Uh yeah- keep them. They were a gift for your daughter, not something she lent you as long as you still hung out every day. Or perhaps Sabrina runs an earring library you knew nothing about LOL

[Heather]

I agree with the other gals too ;). I don't get the reasoning either...

[giffy]

That's the most silly thing I've heard in ages.

Keep the earrings.

[gr8mommy]

I'm with Giffy---that is one of the silliest things I've ever heard.