View Full Version : If you could do it over again, would you marry your spouse?
Kristen's question about whether people who are divorced think their marriage was a mistake reminded of a piece I heard on the radio the other day describing a survey that found that a shockingly high percentage of married women (I know it was more than half, and I think it was closer to two-thirds) would not marry their current spouse if they could do it over. (I should qualify that by saying that it was NOT a scientific poll or anything, just a survey from a magazine, so the results aren't representative of women as a whole.)
Would you marry your spouse again if you could do it over, leaving aside things like you wouldn't have your kids if you didn't marry your current spouse?
I'd say yes, also. Honestly, there are times I'd be tempted to say no, because I know I could find someone else who with whom I wouldn't have the same issues I have with Sean, but then I realize that I'd just have different issues with that person.
Kristi
02-08-2007, 07:31 AM
Yes I would. Even leaving aside not having the kids and all. I mean we have our share of problems but like you said Lori I would just have different ones with someone else. He loves me and I love him. He is good to me and most of the time we get along great.
MommyBug77
02-08-2007, 08:39 AM
I am not 100% sure. We have had more problems in the last 8 years than I care to think about. If I had not married him then I would not have my 2 younger girls & that makes me sad.
Danielle
02-08-2007, 08:46 AM
Yes I would. Even leaving aside not having the kids and all. I mean we have our share of problems but like you said Lori I would just have different ones with someone else. He loves me and I love him. He is good to me and most of the time we get along great.
ITA 100%.
Whitney
02-08-2007, 09:03 AM
I would marry Scott again in a heart beat.
Shana
02-08-2007, 09:13 AM
Again, I am the lone "Other".
Would I marry Mike (my kids' dad) again? Nope.
Would I marry Brian again, once the Big Day comes and goes? Over and over and over and over again, yes :lovealot
Renita
02-08-2007, 09:22 AM
100% yes!!!!
yes i would and i'd probably have married him at a similar age in life if we did it all over. I would, however, have probably delayed having our first child until later on (she was born when i was 18- we married when i was just past 23) as we'd have been more financially stable and probably both been through school by then
Again, I am the lone "Other".
Would I marry Mike (my kids' dad) again? Nope.
Would I marry Brian again, once the Big Day comes and goes? Over and over and over and over again, yes :lovealot
Change Mike to James and Brian to Tom and you have my answer :)
Jejune
02-08-2007, 09:46 AM
Yes, I would. Without hesitation. Daniel and I occasionally have problems, but they're all of the sort that comes from US, not from the relationship, if that makes sense. Like, we're both depressive people, or I have issues leftover from my childhood, or he does. Those problems belong to us and wouldn't vanish if we weren't together. We're better people together, and I hate spending a single day apart from him. We've always just hit it off, and from the moment we became friends, we spent as much time together as possible.
OK, so, just to give you an idea of how lucky I am, he just got us a babysitter for the Saturday after Valentine's Day, and then suggested for our date that he take me to a yarn store and then dinner. I can't think of many people who'd enter so wholly into whatever I'm excited about, but he does. Every time. And the thing is, I know he won't just stand there and watch me look at yarn. He listens to me and cares about my interests. I can't imagine that anyone else in the whole world could be more perfect for me.
And there's my gushing mushiness for the year! LOL I do adore my husband but I promise not to go off on the trail of mush too often!
Erika
02-08-2007, 09:53 AM
awww Kristen. That is lovely. Daniel is a sweetie.
I voted yes :) I love James, and he loves me. We just work together. There have been times when it looked like we may stop working. But we really are bound together and come bouncing back, stronger than before.
Jurgita
02-08-2007, 09:55 AM
Yes, absolutely! :D
Kristen
02-08-2007, 10:08 AM
Yes, I would. Are things perfect? no. But what is very valuable about our relationship is that if something is bothering me about what Steve is doing/not doing, I have the freedom to talk to him about it, and he willing to try and fix the problem. What this means, basically, is that almost no problem is un-fixable.
Like Lori said too, it is not possible to find someone that I will never have problems with...it'll just be a different set of problems. So, I'm happy to stick with the set of problems we encounter, seeing as we've already worked through a lot of them! I wouldn't want to have to start all over again. :giggle
Christine
02-08-2007, 12:34 PM
Absolutely! Dave and I are perfectly suited for each other - warts and all. :D
Heather
02-08-2007, 04:01 PM
Most definitely. Might be surprising to some that know our history, but yes, I'd do it all over again. Obviously.. cause I did LOL!
Nah.. despite all of the drama and issues we've had.. I'm completely in love with him. More so now than ever before. There were issues in the beginning and things almost didn't work out, but in the end they did and we're happy and had I never married him I wouldn't have any of my kids.
Now.. ask me if I think we should've waited.. and my answer would be- Definitely LOL
Desirae
02-08-2007, 07:49 PM
In a heartbeat:D
MrsSuzNZ
02-08-2007, 10:33 PM
I'd say yes, also. Honestly, there are times I'd be tempted to say no, because I know I could find someone else who with whom I wouldn't have the same issues I have with Sean, but then I realize that I'd just have different issues with that person.
Totally agree. I also don't know anyone else who would be so calm and willing to put up with me. LOL
quickmom
02-09-2007, 07:37 AM
I voted other. I wish things were going better between us lately. I have no feelings of wanting to get out of this relationship, but it's just no where near what I thought we'd be like after 6 years. We've had sooooo much going on these past 5 years and there's tons of stress right now, so that's probably why I feel this way. He is devoted to us and works very hard. I just wish we were like we were before we got married. I expected many changes, but not this many.
Totally agree. I also don't know anyone else who would be so calm and willing to put up with me. LOL
Same here:haha
There are many things that I would like improvement in my marriage but I would marrying him all over again.
Amber
02-09-2007, 11:19 AM
I don't know. If I still had my kids...gosh, I really don't know. Things have been better lately, but we've had so many major problems.
giffy
02-11-2007, 12:45 AM
Absolutely I would. I don't think there's another person in the world who would accept me for who I am, and love me in spite of it the way he does. He is very tolerant of my weakenesses, and very kind in many, many ways.
We don't really do the Valentine's thing, but both of know we love each other.:lovealot