Mother In Laws

[Laurah13]

Do you get along with yours? Do you like yours? Does she like? How often do you see each other?

[Laurah13]

Here is why I ask....

I can NOT stand mine. She is such a PITA!!!! She lives with a man that controls her... (her third husabnd to do that... see the pattern):mad: She tries too hard to be loved and adored and completely smoothers me. Instead of being genuine and letting her true self come out, she just tries too hard and that makes me shy away from her more and more.

My DH called me on his way to work today to ask if we had to take our two younger kids to the bowling alley with us tomorrow night since me oldest is in the school musical and old enough to watch the kids and the house. In the next breath he proceeds to tell me that my MIL is coming too...:bite me: Like I need her there when I am trying to bowl my best, DH already applies enough pressure... ugh!!!!

Anyways.. guess I vented a bit....:steam

[Christine]

I have been very blessed to have the inlaws I do. My MIL is Dave's stepmom and I think that helps a lot in our relationship. He's not a "mama's boy" by any means but does love and respect her. The few times, early in our marriage, when she stepped over the line, Dave's loyalties were to me and he let her know that. She says what's on her mind so I always know where I stand with her and that's refreshing to me. Her and my FIL both love me like I was their own daughter and for that I'm grateful.

[Joni]

Normally I get along with mine fine. She's very different from my mother, and it's been a somewhat difficult adjustment, but she's nice to me and didn't interfere too much. She's generous and doesn't place too many demands on Dave.

However, she puts way too much pressure on us to be just like his whole family. They're extremely into family stuff, which is fine, but you can't miss a single thing without being reprimanded. My MIL was angry with me in December because I missed one of Dave's sister's birthday parties because they held it on the same night as a concert I had been planning to go to for a month. Also, she is going to expect us to send our kids to the private school she is the principal at, and I'm not sure I want to. I dread her pointing out the differences between how we raise our children and how the rest of them raised theirs.

The thing that has bugged me the most is that we told her and Dave's dad a week and a half ago that I am pregnant, and asked them not to tell anyone. We said we'd tell his sisters ourselves over the next couple of days. She told all three sisters the next day, and I was livid. She had no right.

[Val]

We remain civil if that counts for anything LOL I think she means well, but she does a lot of things that get under my skin (Like inviting my 5 year old places without asking us first) And I'm fairly certain that she's not all that crazy about me.

[off-kilter]

I adore my mother in-law! I've known her since I was almost 15 (double that and add some for my age now), and she's just a sweetheart. Very good natured and down-home. Before my own mother passed away, I used to say I'd let my MIL in my delivery room, but wouldn't call my very high-strung mother till after I was postpartum and had a nap.

Pretty sure she likes me too, as I was the first girl in the house besides herself and the dog she'd had in years. My husband even used to joke that if he called them up crying that he'd caught me in bed with another man, his parents would ask what he'd done to drive me into the other guy's arms!

Love to cook with her and just hang out. We see her usually a couple of times a year if possible with our military lives, and we're very much planning to move back close to our families so that we can visit at least weekly.

She doesn't comment on our relationship, is good natured and funny. She doesn't even make annoyed faces at my dad when he's being the poster child for adult ADHD, which is frequently. She'd love to have grandkids (and is having a ball with my BIL's sons), but doesn't hint or push.

I know I'm super-blessed with her!

*MY* family has the crazies, unfortunately.

[Sam]

I can't stand my MIL by marriage (my STB ex husbands mum) she is just ermm dumb. She hates me so much for leaving her son that when I am with the boys and bump into her she will ignore them so she doesn't have to stand near me. She really needs to grow up,especially as her son has moved on with a new girl.

Toms mum is lovely,we are very different though,she is everything I'm not but I do enjoy her company. She pissed me off last night but ill bite my tongue and forget about it by the time I next see her.

[Shana]

I think Brian's mom is the Bomb. She is caring, considerate and friendly, loving and helpful. She CAN veer a bit towards the overbearing side, but it is not in any way malicious. She just wants to be helpful :)

[Marzipan]

My husband's parents and two sisters are a blight and a scourge upon the earth. I see them maybe 2 or 3 times a year, and they all live nearby. They are not allowed in our home and are never, ever to be left alone with the children. My husband sees them slightly more often, as he visits his parents on Passover and Rosh Hashana, but that's about it. Both of his sisters have children and the downside is that we almost never see them, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, as the saying goes.

Edited for an important apostrophe.

[quickmom]

I don't dislike mine, but she certainly gets me fired up. Thankfully she lives almost 3 hours away, so I don't see her very often. Usually about once a month. I can't quite but my finger on what it is that bugs me, but usually I end up wondering how she managed to raise 3 children. I just don't understand her reasoning sometimes.

[teawhisk]

When I saw this thread title I was hoping that Marzipan had replied. :D Her inlaws are lengendary in their awfulness.

My mother-in-law and I have 23 years worth of history and most of it is bad. I see her once a year or so, and every four years or so we fight. Her problem is that she's two-faced. For years I thought she was simply out to get me, but lately I've figured out that she's deeply unhappy with herself. That's not exactly a stunning insight but it allows me to tolerate her. I now have no expectations. Sure, she'll be my friend while I'm in the room, but the moment I'm gone she'll agree with whoever arrives next.

Her recent husband is punishment enough, not that he doesn't deserve it. They're punishing each other. Richly. I try not to think it's funny but I do.

She has some good traits, but she's never gotten over trying to please her Daddy, who was impossible to please. He was very hard on his girls, a fact he regretted later in life, but she's still got Daddy confused with God, and she's a real mess. She tried to find approval from any man who'd give it to her and we all know how well *that* works. She found approval from God by becoming a pastor, but it's impossible to be happy in that line of work if you simultaneously are mad at Daddy God because he never affirmed you and you also want God to be a lesbian. You can't have it both ways and the tension would've probably killed her if she hadn't retired.

So no, we don't get along. I don't hate her but I don't trust her.

[Jo]

I don't have a MIL. When I read stories like this, I feel somewhat relieved. I am sorry Dave lost his mom but I am not sorry that I don't have worry about being in a hellish situation.

[Kristi]

My MIL is actually Tim's stepmom. His real mom died before i met him. Though she sounds really nice. Tim did not get along very well with his stepmom for a long time. And only has started to come around since we got married , But I adore her. She is really sweet woman and i have never had any problems with her.

[Polly]

I, for the most part, enjoy my MIL. She is a great mom and a retired kindergarten teacher (she's taught every grade K-6 in 30 years of teaching), so we talk shop a lot. However, she is really concerned with being thin-she eats only 800 calories a day. I am NOT thin. I have PCOS and insulin resistance and am overweight. Betsy is constantly observing and commenting on how much and what goes in to my mouth. I moderate carb (as my endocrinologist recommends) but Betsy cannot believe that lowfat isn't the healthiest way for everyone. The good thing is she is passive agressive. This is good because my mom raised me to be agressive and I've noticed it knocks Betsy off her game to be directly challenged, etc. Plus, it's fun to do it. :nannybooboo Her whole side of the family is like that (there are only women) and apparently they are all scared of me. CJ and I think it's pretty damn funny. It makes life a lot easier when they realize they can't bully you.

Polly

[BigDave]

I adore my MIL. I love spending time with her. My FIL makes me feel dumb, only because he is a very smart man. They are both good people and for me that makes up for any fat jokes that are made.

[Cyndi]

I love my MIL!!

[Lori]

My MIL is an extremely nice woman, and we do get along. I will admit that I have some issues with her, but those are all about me and my being too harsh on her, and not anything that's a problem with her as a person.

She grew up in a very abusive, very critical and unloving home, so she is constantly, constantly requiring assurance and agreement from people. People who constantly need assurance (that I like them, that they're funny, that they have good ideas) tend to drive me crazy, and she can drive me crazy, but there are people you just have to be patient with, and she's one of them. She's a very sweet, very kind person, so it's not like she doesn't deserve that patience.

[Beka]

Eileen (MIL) and i get along great- we have alot in common and at times she's been a huge support to me as she understands many aspects of my life that my own mother can't (mil and i were both unmarried teen mothers to our first, both lost babies- my mother was normal age married mother, only ever had 2 pgs resulting in my sister and i, MIL and i both have largely than average families, my mother stopped at 2) she's had times in her life when she's needed more support than most parents ever ask of their kids (her youngest daughter lived with us a while and she had a very transient lifestyle for a while) but she's always been there as a friend and an ear when David and i have needed her which is what counts.

[Lisa]

I am very lucky in that I love my MIL. She really is a wonderful person. She doesn't get too involved with our decisions and generally backs off if we tell her too. She dotes on the kids and is always willing to babysit if we need her too. We see her at least once a month usually.

[MommyBug77]

We get along most of the time. We get along a lot better since we don't live together any more. I think she likes me, if she doesn't then she hides it well. I see her every day right now. Her & my FIL are taking the girls to & from school so I do not have to walk them with the baby. They live 3 streets away so I see them pretty often usually.

[Desirae]

we're getting better. ;) She seemed to really like me when we started dating but then we got engaged. LOL We were told that they did not support our marriage. I found out at my SIL's wedding (this past July) that they finally saw me as family (nice huh?).

[SabrinaJL]

Can't stand her. It's a very long story. Basically she really didn't want a child and she definitely didn't want a grandchild. About 2 years ago she sent us a letter saying she didn't want to have anything to do with us anymore because we hurt her too much. The way we hurt her is by not getting her an xmas gift (we don't know her well enough to know what she likes) and we didn't tell them when we were leaving town (they've never cared before). Whatever. Not like I give a crap. :rolleyes

[MrsSuzNZ]

We do get along. I had my issues with her, but I got over them. She (my MIL) means well. I have just learnt to change my thinking about her.

[Momfoolery]

I adore my mother in-law! ... I know I'm super-blessed with her!

*MY* family has the crazies, unfortunately.

Same here. My husband's mom is great! She's warm and friendly and funny and completely non-intrusive or disapproving. It makes me sad that Mary lives on the other end of the country, but we talk on the phone and email regularly, plus we visit back and forth every year or so.

I also love my ex-mother-in-law-in-law (that is, my husband's first wife's mother). Sue is a complete gem who welcomed me into the extended family and considers herself "Grandma" to my daughter, too. She made me the most beautiful pillow-quilt and diaper bag when she found out I was expecting.

I'm incredibly lucky (and grateful, too)!

[Beryl]

I have a great relationship with my MIL. She's the type of lady inclined to think good things about people, which I'm very thankful for because I don't think I'm quite exactly what they were painting in their minds as a DiL. But we've been through some really rough times, which served as a bit of a trial by fire in my first year of marriage. She knows that I will be there when the going gets rough. From here, we just keep learning what kinds of friends we will be.

I think in the long run, there are a lot of conversations we won't have because we prefer to be comfortably polite than strictly honest. Sometimes that's hard for me and I say things a lil too honest and have to soften it a little. To her, I think she's watching me become more 'ladylike' and to me, I feel like I'm learning to be someone else when I have to be.

Honestly though, I still worry about some of the future conversations (public vs private, religious upbringing, when my daughter brings home her first gf:noway) and how we will navigate.

But I fell we are starting from strength and respect so maybe we have a chance, eh?

[Corey]

I get along with her better now that she is not living with me but I used to get along even better with her years ago. She has just meddled in my business way too much and caused waaaaay too much trouble in my household. I love her but I don't trust her 100% and I can't stand how manipulating she can be. :p