Family Completion Feeling

[Polly]

Seriously. I don't want to start trying for another baby until next year but I just feel that our family isn't "complete" yet. Just a feeling, I guess. CJ is worried our next kid won't be as great and easy as Elizabeth. Anyone else?

Polly

[Mary]

I feel our family is complete, a feeling which probably stems from the fact that I have a three-month-old whom I have been trying to get to sleep tonight for about three-and-a-half hours now and not having much success, and who is still up every 1-2 hours all. night. long. ;)

I never had that feeling you described after our first, due mostly to those same feelings you say your dh has. Madalyn was SUCH a good baby and toddler. She was so mature and we could take her anywhere and the older she got the less I wanted to start at square one again. I was still undecided when we had a little "oops" and got our son. :) We thought we were done with two kids but then when he was about 2, out of the blue, I started having "there's someone missing" vibes. It took me a while to get dh on board....I had given up hope, actually.....and I was really sad because I felt like there was someone missing and we'd never have her. So I can totally understand those feelings. Fortunately dh came 'round and now we have Eliza....who, I imagine, has big things in store for us down the road because I'm fairly certain I wasn't pining for her because I wanted to be killed by exhaustion. ;)

[boosmama]

im in the same boat as you.

im in between staying at one and going to two. I know that we wont be a single child family but i just cant take that step to #2

[jane]

you know before I had finn or even started ttc for finn I always felt that i wasn't done yet , no matter how much I tried to reason that I already had enough it just wouldn't work , heck there is a 8 year age gap thats how hard i tried to dismiss the feeling.

yet once Finn was born I had the feeling that I was done , i got all hung up on the never gonna be pg again thing but I knew that barring any little accidents he would be my last and I am just loving watching my family grow with no yearnings for another child.

[Erika]

For a number of months after having Sasha I felt that I was done. And this is from someone who wanted 5 kids at one stage LOL I think the years of TTC took its toll and on top of that, the first few months were awful. Sashas colic, her illness at birth and the fear I still have from that, and wierdly, not wanting her to have to share myself and james, made my whole self not want another.

But things are so much easier now and she is so happy and healthy, and I know more about what happened with her and how to prevent it happening again, that I am starting to get that whole "yes, lets try for another one or two" feeling. So we have decided on at least one more. But won't be trying for that baby for at least another year, probably longer. Enjoying Sasha too much right now :)

I also think the fact that I loved pregnancy and really just want to go through that again is a factor in it.

[Christine]

I never felt our family was complete until I was pregnant with our fourth. Of course, everyone was telling me we were complete after our third and I went so far as to schedule tubal ligation. I'm so glad I canceled it, because I was definitely not done having my girls! When it was time, I KNEW without a shadow of a doubt and I haven't wavered since.

[Lori]

We worry we'll have another child who was as difficult a baby as Thomas! We're amazed we did it once, and don't think we could handle it again. :giggle

We want another baby, and plan to start in the fall. But, I also feel like, if we couldn't have another child, I'd be okay with that. I remember how I felt before I had Thomas, and the craving for a child I had then, and I don't feel that way now. I'd like another child or two, but I don't think I'd feel like something was missing in my life if I couldn't have them.

[Kristi]

We are in the middle I guess. There is alot our decision to have a fourth child would depend on. One of the major things is money. Tim says once he has made cheif then we will see how we feel at the time. I don't feel like my family is complete right now but who knows if it takes 5 yrs for us to get to the point where we feel we could do as well as we are now financially and add another child to the family I may not want to start all over with everything. By that time the other kids will be 6, 9, and 10, So we are at a let's wait and see point. I really long for another baby but I know that I couldn't handle one more at this point I already have my hands full with the three i have. I assume things get easier as they get older LOL So we'll see.

[ColleenC]

We're still not 100% sure. At point we really wanted another one, but now we are really leaning towards NOT having any more. They just get so much HARDER and more expensive as they get older. Babies are nothing LOL If we did have another one, it wouldn't be for a few years anyways. But by then do I really want to start again??

Mu uncertaintly stems from something different though, I want to have at least one baby the 'proper' way. I want to be married and I want to TRY for a baby and I want that feeling of being really excited when I find out I'm pregnant because we've tried. I've never had that.

[Jo]

We realized definitively during our trip that we are done. We have been leaning that way for a long time. I don't want to start over again, I hate pregnancy, sick of nursing and love how my kids mostly sleep through the night. Traveling was so much easier this time and I am ready to enjoy them as they grow.

[Mary]

You mean at some point it will get easier with three, Jo? Throw me a bone, here...I'm floundering a bit! :)

[Jo]

I does. Life is still hectic but I find it so much easier when they become toddlers and beyond. That isn't to say life is perfect. Mira and Laura got a hold of some blackberries yesterday and smeared them all over themselves and the kitchen floor.LOL But I do find it easier when they aren't so needy all the time.

[kcmomma]

In my heart, our family isn't complete. Given dh's snipping though, we'll only have more given a miracle....and I'd take that miracle any day :giggle