View Full Version : Partner choice "shape by father"
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6745121.stm
Much as she might hate to admit it, a woman's choice of partner may depend a lot on her own father.
Scientists have found women who were treated well by their dad during childhood are attracted to men who resemble their father facially.
What do you think?
MathSpeak
06-13-2007, 11:29 AM
Perhaps I'm the anomaly :dunno
I had a good relationship with my dad... he lived with me until I was a sophomore in college - and then my parents separated. He's now deceased. I stay FAR AWAY from people who resemble him... it's kinda scary to see someone who looks like your deceased father. I went on a date with a guy last summer and spent the ENTIRE time analyzing how he had the same "adam's apple" and cut his facial hair the same way :( I ended up telling my friend - who orchestrated the whole thing - that he was NOT a prospect for me.
What may be even more surprising is that whenever I like a guy, he tends to have some of the same facial structure as my mom :lmao I ALWAYS notice it... I'll say things like "omigosh, that face is one my mom would make"...
Marzipan
06-13-2007, 11:45 AM
My husband looks nothing like my dad other than having similar coloring (brown hair and brown eyes aren't too uncommon) but they have really similar personalities.
This part:
Much as she might hate to admit it, a woman's choice of partner may depend a lot on her own father.
is almost always going to be true. Either a woman is going to say, "I really hated my dad and the way he raised me and I'd like to marry someone whose values are different than the ones I was raised with," or she's going to think, "My dad really embodied a lot of the kinds of good qualities I think a man should have. I hope my partner will share them." Generalizing majorly there of course, but I think it's impossible to escape the influences our parents had over us, for better or worse.
hahahahahahahahahaha
My dad was wonderful but Dh looks NOTHING like him.
My dad is an abusive arsehole, Tom isn't. Tom can not be compared to my dad in the slightest, he is like my mum actually and I love my mum.
I agree with the theory, It is not a new concept, it is an old one and many of books have been written about it. I was however raised by an gambling addict and ended up marrying one, I do not think that is a coincidence either.
Dave is actually not the type of guy to which I have always been physically attracted.I do feel that some of the personality qualities he has do reflect my relationship with my dad. Interestingly enough, he shares some pretty big personality traits with my mother as well. So I guess I married both my parents!
off-kilter
06-13-2007, 01:25 PM
I adore my father, but Tate looks very little like him other than being kind of a big guy. But when I dated him, he was a scrawny high school wrestler! Personality wise, they have similar traits, but mostly in the good ways.
My father dated a woman who was was a bit of a psycho. Everything he wanted in a woman most of the time, with drunken screaming sobbing and weirdness 5%. He thought maybe he could help her with her problems, which included her prolonged childhood molestation by her father, until he came across a picture of her father. He said that the father and he could have been twins!! My dad was too unnerved by the idea that she picked him because of that and would have nothing to do with her afterward.
Danielle
06-13-2007, 01:29 PM
Ummm... I'm afraid dh and my dad do not resemble each other in the least LOL.
I had/have a great relationship with my dad.
Shana
06-13-2007, 03:42 PM
They are SORT OF physically similar. Both tall, striking blue eyes. Dark hair. Well, my dad's hair is silver now, but it was very dark when he was Brian's age. Both very generous, open, kind hearted, good listeners.
I have *always* maintained Brian is just like my dad :)
Either a woman is going to say, "I really hated my dad and the way he raised me and I'd like to marry someone whose values are different than the ones I was raised with,"
That would be me!
My dad definitely shaped who I picked as a partner. I spent 21 years being bossed around and criticized by him and I was damned if I was going to spend the rest of my life with a husband who would act the same way!