Tell us about grandma

[Beka]

My mother and I were discussing the other day how she is lucky because grandma tends to be one of the closest relationships any child will ever have (all my kids are very attached to my parents and to MIL)

So what about YOUR grandmothers? What is/was your relationship with them like?

If you didn't have one who substituted that special role? (or even if you did who else was held in such high esteem?)

[Lisa]

I was never really close with my grandmothers. Luckily my kids are with both. Esp MIL so I'm happy about that. Dh is really close to his grandmother. He was the first grandchild.

[Beka]

My granny was awesome, she truly was wonderful, she was the apple pie, squishy hugs, you could tell her anything and she'd still love you granny. My moms mother, i was born 2 years after my grandad had died and she filled the role of both of them for me. She spent all her spare time with us, every saturday we'd go out for the day and she'd eat at our house, every friday evening she came over for fish and chips, every summer and autumn we'd take 2 vacations with her. She was wonderful, she had a fantastic sense of humour and was very down to earth. She suffered her first stroke when i was 14 and i spent the following 2 and a half years as her carer with my mother until she eventually died december 9th 1995 and the morning Chase was born october 1997 it bought it home to me how she was the only person in the world who would have fully understood how i felt right then. I have fabulous memories of her and David's nan reminds me alot of her. She had so much love to give which i'm not sure many could if they'd lost their husband as young as she did.

My nan (dads mom) is a very reserved lady - i'm not sure what i feel for her is love but we have a mutual respect as she has been through alot of hardship which i believe has desensitised her to life and made her as internal in terms of emotion that she is. She is in her 80s now (86 in a few weeks) and she was raised an orphan, her mother died when she was tiny (threw herself in the fire through "lunacy" - we now call that post partum depression/psychosis) her father considered it impropre to raise 2 girls alone so she was placed in an orphanage (her elder sister went to their aunt) she had a very strict & cruel up bringing there and was eventually adopted by a mixed race couple (she was the first child ever adopted by a black adult in our county) sadly the mother then died through "female cancers" and the courts ruled a black man couldn't raise a white girl on his own (this was 1920s england- far from progressive) so she was returned to the orphanage, taken out at the age when she could work by her aunt and sent to work as a maid in London around age 11/12, she eventually met my grandad at 16 and married him within weeks (went on to have 5 kids and a 64 year marriage) She has alot of grandchildren and she is extremely reserved and propre with us all, i have learnt alot from her and she does understand the pressures of being a young mother, she sees motherhood as the greatest expression of female power and she's right. She has never been a fuzzy loving nan though and her grandkids fall into 2 groups- those who despise her for it and those like myself who have respect but not love for her.

My "alternative" granny was Aunty Mary- aunty mary was the lady who raised my Granny, my granny's mother was unmarried when she was born and therefore tried to sell my granny- when she did her younger sister (aunty mary) begged their mother to let her keep my granny on the understanding she would work, she would pay for her, she would raise her- aunty mary was 17 when she took all that on and she did it so well. When my gran was an older child her mother married, had 3 more children and demanded her back. Aunty Mary was a wonderfully selfless lady, she married late in life because she spent her 20s raising my gran, as a result she only had one daughter who was then shot & killed in a domestic violence incident in her early marriage, aunty mary's husband never got over it and died shortly after. Aunty Mary then went on to live to 2006 (the week i found out i was pregnant with Loki) and she was wonderful, i saw her as my great gran, i took all my children to see her often because she had no grandchildren of her own- she would introduce my kids proudly to all of her neighbours as her great-grandchildren (i even took Loki to see her old next door neighbour to show her Mary's newest great grandson when he was born) and every mothers day we would send her a card to show she was like a mother to us all, Mary was wonderful.

[Val]

I didn't have any grandfathers, so I had my dad's step mom. None of us are especially close with her. We visit when in town but that's about it.
My maternal grandma was something else! She was neat, and had lead an amazing life. However, she was very hard on family. I don't really have the right words to describe that relationship. She died a few years ago after complications from and angioplasty.

[Chris]

I have 1 grandma who is still alive. We used to be pretty close until my mom got sick and passed away. This is my moms mom. She is a great lady, she is raising my 15 y/o niece. But we just can't seem to get along anymore. And she is getting older and having a hard time remembering a LOT of stuff, so that doesn't help.

[Beka]

Chris i remember you talking about her raising your niece previously. I'm sorry your relationship has become distanced.

Lisa David and his grandfather are close for the same reason- David is eldest grandchild, all his life his grandad has called him "Big'un" as he was oldest - when Jude started to toddle he began to call Jude that which i think is sweet.

Val i think alot of relationships are like that- doesn't matter how you describe them the words never seem to do the memory justice or quite fit what you need to express about them.

[Desirae]

:wub My mom's mom and I are very close. :) My family lived with my grandparents for a while when I was really young and even before we moved in, my mom would come back if my dad was out to sea for a longer period of time. We did a lot together when I lived in WI. Now we talk at least once a week on the phone and LOTS through email.

My dad's mom and I aren't really close. They were never really around when I was growing up, but my grandpa had a heart attack about 5 years ago and that seems to be bringing them around. They even flew up after Aidan was born to meet him! That's saying a lot considering we'd seethe m for Christmas when they lived 10 minutes from us. She's my grandma and I love her but we really don't have a relationship.

My maternal grandma's mom and I are close as well. She taught me to sew and cook and many other things. :)

My paternal grandma's mom and I aren't very close. She never lived near us and then got very sick.

[jane]

I was and (still am) so lucky to have the best grandmas in the world .

My dads mum ( nanny kath) was my favorite person in the whole world , I used to spend every other weekend with her , they would pick me up from school on friday and drop me back at school on monday
we wouldn't do anything special I would just get to spend time with then , sometimes on the sunday I would get to see my dad too. they were the best days of my childhood , i knew she loved me unconditionally and I was the most important person in her life ( unlike my mum where we all came second to whatever man she was dating at the time).
we would always always always have roast lamb for dinner on sunday because she knew it was my favorite , and she made the best roast potatoes , and fabby home made appple pie. whe I was with her i got a feleing of being loved that I didn't get at home and theat was something so special . she got ill when i was about 16 she was in her mid 80's she had strokes and heart attacks and started to loose her mnd , but I never saw her on a bad day , no matter when i visited she was alwasy the same old nan just a little more fragile . she passed away two days after my 18th birthday and I had never known heartbreak like it .

My Mums Mum ( nanny margaret) I am lucky enough to still have her. I also spent a lot of time with them growing up , they had a boat and would take me off sailing with them and then when they were in service at stately homes I would go and stay with them for weeks at a time during school break.

I don't get to see her very much now , they don't live too far away but with finn in playgroup I just don't have time to get over to her home before I have to come back again. we talk often on the phone . her health is failing and I live in fear of that p[honecall becasue I don't think anyone else realizes exaclty what my nan means to me .

My grandmothers were the main influnce in my childhood , they kept me sain and made me the person I am - imagine what i would have been like without their love and guidance - I screwed up enough with it !!! I feel incredibly lucky to have had them in my life .

[MathSpeak]

My maternal grandmother passed away when my mother was a young girl. I never met anyone in my mother's family (outside of her younger sister who lived with us my entire life) until I was 12. My paternal grandmother lived about 15 miles from us, but we saw her about once a year. It later came out that my father kept his whole family from us by making up stories about my mom being "weird" about having people around us :rolleyes However, once my dad passed away, we started to see his family more and now I'm close with my grandmother. She watches AJ for me during the day and she's so good to my li'l girl. Although I didn't have a relationship with her while I was younger, I do feel like I'm making up for lost time :)

[giana]

My grandmother is the stereotype of a italian "nona" .Italian families are very matriarchal so shes the leader and shes very bossy and secure of herself....we play that theres two ways of doing things her way and the wrong way...shes one of the most important people in my life and she raised me from age 4 to 11 when I moved with my aunt just blocks away from her....so as long as I lived in Brasil I spent my days in her house...shes cool to talk with and fun to hang out....sometimes she annoys me because shes so hard headed but I learned to love it and see it as part of her strong personality....another very important thing is her smell...In 30 years of life I have never met anyone that smells as good as her and she does not use perfume...she smells like lavender soap and always did...shes beautiful too and I love her very very much.Ill actually post a picture of her so you guys can envy me for having the cutest granmother ever

[ColleenC]

My Nana(dad's mom) was everything to our family. She truly was the center of us. Such an amazingly strong woman lived an amazing life.

I have a hard time talking about her because she passed when I was 8 weeks away from having Megan and I still have some issues with the fact that she never got to meet my kids. Don't really like talking about it.

My moms mom I don't really know. I haven't seen her since I was 6. My mom is in England now visiting her.