If you had a big (or biggish) age gap between kids...

[Lori]

How did your oldest react to going from being an only for a few years to having a sibling? How did they react to the baby? Were they a help, or did they just want the baby to go back?

Thomas will be 3 when we're TTC and (assuming all goes well) will be close to 4 or 4 when we have another baby. I have no idea how he'll react, because I think he feels pretty secure in his role as king of the house and most-beloved grandchild and nephew LOL.

[Beka]

Chase was a few months short of age 6 when Jude arrived, and of 7 when Dyl arrived- she did tremendously well however this may have been because she was aware of our treatments and knew how lucky we were to have a second baby. she was (and still is) a wonderful helper for me when jude and dyl were both toddlers together and she's had nothing but love for them, she was 9 when Loki was born and in some elements she is like a second mother despite the fact we don't expect her to help with the younger children she does by choice.

we were expecting complete melt down to be honest after 6 years of being an only child- she's gone from only child to eldest of 4 in less time than she spent as an only child after all! but she shocked us all- i don't think it's about being an only child but how that singular child has been raised in terms of sense of family that counts, Chase we made sure was aware love is not finate and that there is plenty of it to go around and Jude arriving wouldn't effect how much love she had within the family.

The only issues we ever did experience was from outside family being obsessed she would be pushed out by a very much wanted new baby (she still had the same father as him but there was alot of feeling in extended family that we might feel differently about Jude being a very planned and wanted baby than we would Chase having been our surprise in high school child!) Chase is smart- she knew what they were saying and she decided she'd try and take advantage of it :lmao (she is sooooo much my child) and we got several "granny said i am pushed out" type comments until we made it clear she wasn't being and we weren't standing for the drama when there was no just cause, it stopped there and then

Jude is almost 4 and he's coped great with Loki's arrival, my main issues are with Dyl who is nearly 3 and supposedly the ideal age gap- well ideal hasn't worked all that great for us compared to our "too big" age gap and our "too small" age gap- i'd prefer either of those to the gap between Dyl and Loki

[Val]

I'm getting ready for jury duty now, so I'll have to come back later- but it went really well for us. Cailin was 3.75 when Brayden was born.

[Val]

Cailin was really excited to be a big sister. She wanted a baby (ahem- Girl) but has been happy with a brother and loved him to death. Of course there were moments, but it honestly was really smooth for us. She loved to hold him, and help with him- heck, she's even changed his diaper before (really messy, I don't recommend the 4 year olds doing this LOL) I had heard horror stories from some friends, but for us it was completely positive.

[SarahJ]

I'll keep you updated...Tara will be a month shy of SEVEN when this long-awaited baby arrives. So far, its been great telling her all about it, having her at midwife appts with me and having her so interested and excited about a new baby in the family.
I also noticed she makes a beeline for little babies when we go to gatherings...so cute!

[Danielle]

Takara was 4 1/2 when David was born. Being a real little girl, she was a little mama and wanted to help look after him... at first. LOL After he started to become mobile and touched her things, she wasn't nearly as impressed.

I think she thought of him as MY baby (maybe because she knew he was in my belly for so long) and so it was okay that I hold him but Daddy and Nanny... NO WAY! She hated when they held him!

Now, she's the most adoring sister ever and she is David's FAVORITE person, hands down! They're really adorable!

[hanaruby]

My eldest was 14 when I had my now one year old. I think our situation was different because she not only spent those years as an only child, but also big chunk of it as the only child of a single mother. Luckily, my husband and she get a long great, and we really created a sense of family before the little one came along. She has been a big help, and has adjusted nicely. However, I am due with number 3, and I think THAT will be the biggest adjustment for all of us.

[Mary]

Our age gap was only 2 years, 8 months, so not huge, but Madalyn was very mature for her age and also very independent and she didn't have any problems at all. She seemed completely unfazed; just was anxious to help. She and her brother are best pals now.

I will be interested to see how JZ reacts going from youngest (which is similar to being an only) to middle child. He is almost 4 so he's had a long time to settle into his place as the baby. :)

My dh was 4 when his only sibling was born and they always got along great. He says he didn't have any resentment at all. He and his brother grew up as friends and even chose to share a room as teenagers.

I really think the older they get the easier it is because they get to a point where they want to be independent and be "big kids" and help out and so it's fun for them to help with the baby and do stuff that the baby is too little to do.

[Jenny]

Tanner was 4.5yrs old when Emily was born. He was the first grandchild on both sides and it had come with a lot of perks. He had a ROUGH time after she arrived, but he also had tons of outside family (my parents, my inlaws, etc) that would still doddle on him as if he was the only child still (and my mom still does :rolleyes)

He had a rough time, but he adjusted. He wasn't violent or anything, but also didn't know how to express his frustrations, so had full on meltdowns

[Kami]

Dylan was 6 & KyLynn was 4 when Brock was born. They were both wonderful and very excited! They were always eager to help out and play with him. Now that he is 3 though, they are starting to see him as a pain! LOL