Those who have circ'ed dhs, brothers, dads, SO's, etc.

[Kristen]

How do they feel about being circ'ed? Does it really bother them? Do they think about it at all? Do they wish it hadn't been done?

I have a pretty laid-back attitude when it comes to circ'ing, as I don't think it's a big deal one way or the other, and I was thinking that probably part of the reason I feel this way about it is that Steve couldn't care less about the fact that he is circ'ed. He doesn't feel at all violated or upset. If he was really torn up about it, I think I'd be inclined to give more credence to the human rights aspect of this issue. My brothers and my dad aren't at all bothered by their circs, and Joshua's not at all bugged either, although he is still young, of course.

I tend to be more passionate about other aspects of parenting because of having personally observed lasting negative effects from said parenting behaviors. I've said this before in circ'ing debates on other boards, but Steve's parents were impatient with him, they disciplined out of anger, they banished him to his room after disciplining him, they exasperated him, they didn't encourage him, and so on. I see how this kind of parenting haunts him to this day, and it makes me sad. :( But his circumcision doesn't bother him one iota. Anyhow, I think that's a lot of why I don't see it as a big deal, and I see other issues as really important.

[malcontent]

My husband is actually angry that he was circumcised though I don't remember him expressing any opinion before we found out we were going to have a son and began researching the matter. After we decided not to circumcise our son, my husband became much more vocal about his frustration over his own circumcison. The anger doesn't consume his life or anything, but circumcision is a sore (no pun intended) subject with him.

My dad is circumcised too, but he has no qualms. He was actually a little upset that we chose not to circumcise our son. I think he found our decision outlandish.

[Marzipan]

My husband is Jewish and circumcised. I live in an extremely Jewish part of the country and I think he'd have felt weird if he had not been circumcised, both for the social and religious reasons. And to pre-emptively address any posts about whether or not men who have been circumcised enjoy sex less, I'll just say that if it's true, I'm exceptionally glad my husband was circumcised. We really just don't have the room for a harem.

[Erika]

I have similar views to you Kristen. But I am glad that circumcision is not the norm over here in Ireland. James is circ'ed. His mother badgered the doctors as she was paranoid about hygiene. He is laidback about it as he doesn't know what it is to be intact.

We won't be circ'ing any sons we may have. I am pretty much against piercing baby and children's ears so I am definately not going to be circumcising my newborn son :giggle

But to me, it isn't a big issue. There are much more important things to get worked up about - abuse, neglect, proper nutrition even.

[Kristen]

And to pre-emptively address any posts about whether or not men who have been circumcised enjoy sex less, I'll just say that if it's true, I'm exceptionally glad my husband was circumcised. We really just don't have the room for a harem.

uh, yeah. I don't really want to think about what Steve would be like with a higher drive. Anyone who saw his current drive wouldn't be feeling terribly sorry for the boy. :lmao

[ColleenC]

No my dh doesn't care that he was circ'd and neither does my brother. In fact both are glad that they are.

[Danielle]

My dad and dh are both un-circ'd so I have no experience to draw on...

[Jejune]

My husband is very glad that he's not circumcised and was quite adamant that he would never have a circumcised son. He's long said that he's not reasonable about it - I did the research, he did the gut feeling. However, both of us would have to say that we don't personally know anyone who's ever expressed upset at their circumcision. In fact, the only time it has come up in discussion, the circumcised men have expressed bewilderment at the idea that it would bother them.

I guess I see it this way. It's about like ear piercing to me. I wouldn't do it for my kids, and I'm not a fan, but it's not something I can get too worked up about one way or the other. I cared more when my kids were really little, because a lot of parenting choices then are very either/or. You breastfed or you didn't. You circ'ed or you didn't. So on and on down the list. It's appealing to pick one of these as a cross to die on because they're black and white. You did or you didn't. Good and bad parenting is harder to quantify. How much easier it would be if we could just measure people against a black and white standard! The did or didn't issues allow that to be the case.

I let some of my strong feelings go as I watched my kids and my friends' kids grow up. It became clear that their well being was affected by a lot more than a did or didn't. I know more than one child of a mom who did everything "right" by my black and white standards, but I do not think that these mothers have a very patient, loving way of dealing with their kids. Even though they were breastfed to age three, they're still not terribly pleasant to be around, and I can tie it to inconsistent discipline. I think it matters much more HOW something is done than WHAT is done.

[Jeri]

Well, before I had ever discussed circing with my husband, I assumed he didn't care that he was circ'd. I was adamantly against it, and was shocked that he agreed with me so easily about it. Apparantly, he feels very violated by it. He has even considered foreskin restoration, but hasn't pursued it.

[Val]

I've never asked my brothers or father, but I have talked to my husband about it and he's glad that he was circ'd.

[Mary]

Dh isn't upset about his. He doesn't really understand the big deal about having it done and that stems directly from his not feeling like it's affected him adversely in any way.

[Lori]

I don't think Sean really cares either way. He isn't particularly glad that he was circ'd rather than not, but it's not like he feels violated or abused because of it.

I left the circumcision decision up to him. I did give him my feeling on it, which is that I would prefer to not do it rather than do it, but honestly it's not something I feel particularly strongly about, and I let him know that I'd be fine either way. If he would have felt more comfortable with his son being circ'd that would have been okay. He was very analytical about it and did a lot of research, and he didn't think there were any medical reasons to get it done, so he decided that we shouldn't.

But his decision was based on a general philosophy that if a part of the body isn't causing harm, there's no reason to remove it, and not any distress over being circ'd. If either of us had felt that there was a persuasive health-related reason to circ, we would have, but we didn't think there was in the context of 21st century U.S. life, and we had no religious reasons to do it, so it was up to Sean and how he felt about it. He didn't think it was necessary, so we didn't, but it had nothing to do with his feeling traumatized over being circ'd.

Honestly, I'm sure that for every man who feels extremely violated by being circ'd and feels it has reduced their sexual pleasure to a degree that upsets them, you could find another man who is upset his parents didn't circ him and feels harmed by negative reactions from potential sexual partners because of it.

I agree with the ear piercing parallel. I wouldn't do it, but if someone has cultural reasons to do so, or simply chooses to, I see no reason to make an issue of it. In the long run, it doesn't matter either way.

[Kami]

I ahve never heard anyone I know of that is cir'd complain about it. It isn't something I really thought a whole lot about I guess!

[Jejune]

Regarding sexual pleasure:

The most sensitive part of the penis is the glans, which is not harmed in a circumcision that is done correctly. The reason that the foreskin can increase sexual pleasure is that it rubs against the glans during masturbation or intercourse, similar to how certain types of condoms can be used to increase pleasure. This is why circumcision on men is not comparable to circumcision on women. When the genitals are forming, the clitoris and the penis are the same part until hormones kick in to determine gender. Removing the clitoris is comparable to removing the glans, not the foreskin.

Sorry for all the dirty dirty sexy sex talk ;) but I thought that might clarify some points about the sexual pleasure thing. Removing the foreskin won't remove all sexual pleasure by any means because it is not the most sensitive part that is removed.

[Kristen]

Honestly, I'm sure that for every man who feels extremely violated by being circ'd and feels it has reduced their sexual pleasure to a degree that upsets them, you could find another man who is upset his parents didn't circ him and feels harmed by negative reactions from potential sexual partners because of it.

I agree with the ear piercing parallel. I wouldn't do it, but if someone has cultural reasons to do so, or simply chooses to, I see no reason to make an issue of it. In the long run, it doesn't matter either way.

I agree...I'm on the other side of the coin from you, but I feel the same way about other families' decisions.

Polly's brother is a case in point. He'd have been delighted to have had it done when he was a baby, so he wouldn't remember the pain. I'd rather have a painful procedure done then...I bit my tongue in half when I was two, and had it stitched up, and I am very happy it happened then instead of last year. :p

A parent can't really know if their son is going to end up like Jeri's dh, who really wants his foreskin back, or like Polly's brother, who is upset that his parents didn't get it over with long ago for him, or like the vast majority of men, who don't seem to feel like the decision their parents' made is a very big deal.

[AdinaVerbena]

Matt is not upset about being circumcised, but he does wonder if it contributed to some sensitivity (or lack of) issues he has. Everything works well and he enjoys sex a whole heck of a lot, but (wow, this is too much information) certain areas that are supposed to be sensitive are not really so for him. He thinks that it's possible that having his foreskin removed may have caused some of that. Maybe it's the circumcision, maybe it's just him.

[Polly]

My husband is Jewish and circumcised. I live in an extremely Jewish part of the country and I think he'd have felt weird if he had not been circumcised, both for the social and religious reasons. And to pre-emptively address any posts about whether or not men who have been circumcised enjoy sex less, I'll just say that if it's true, I'm exceptionally glad my husband was circumcised. We really just don't have the room for a harem.

Marcy, you're great!

Polly

[Polly]

In adendum, I'll just say a few things more. One, this whole topic keeps reminding of "Robin Williams: Live at the Met (1986) when he called circ a "snail with a helmet" and un-circ'd a "snake with a sweater!":partydown

Two-I know it influences potential sex partners but I just didn't want to give anyone the impression that Andy was picking girls up in bars and slipping info into the conversation about his "snake in a sweater" and they got turned off and left.

Polly

[Shasta]

Well, Mike definitely isn't bothered by being circ'ed, it's the norm here, I don't know anyone who isn't circ'ed. When we dicussed it before the boys were born, he made it very clear that they would also be circ'ed, there was no way he would back down on it and me, having no penis, really didn't have much of an opinion either way.

[Jejune]

You know something I've never connected in all of this? I had a painful and unnecessary procedure done on me as a baby. I was misdiagnosed with meningitis (if I'm remembering rightly) and was given a series of spinal taps before they figured out that the test had had a false positive. It sounds like it was horribly painful, and my mother had a very hard time sitting through them. I wish it hadn't happened at all. However, I don't remember it. I was a day or two old at the time. In that sense, I am glad it happened when I was a baby rather than when I was older. I had an accident at age 4 that required many stitches, and I DID remember that and had nightmares and phobias for years afterward.

I'm still on the team that prefers to let a person make that kind of decision for himself, but I also do see the point that if it's going to happen at all, best when he can't remember it, given my own experience with newborn pain. I also know that even though I didn't circumcise my kids, they did have a vitamin K shot and a variety of other uncomfy procedures within the first few days. I chose those procedures because I thought they were beneficial.

I'm torn here. I'm personally pretty anti circumcision. However, I was able to make that stand within my own family when I chose not to circumcise my sons. I also think that some of the arguments against it don't hold up, and among them, the argument that it's torturous. So is being born, to be honest. I'm not saying we should add to that unnecessarily, but I don't think it's the world's biggest issue, especially as most little boys are given an anesthetic these days.

[gr8mommy]

Well, Mike definitely isn't bothered by being circ'ed, it's the norm here, I don't know anyone who isn't circ'ed. When we dicussed it before the boys were born, he made it very clear that they would also be circ'ed, there was no way he would back down on it and me, having no penis, really didn't have much of an opinion either way.


This is pretty much us, too. Duncan is circ'd, and said Aidan would be too. I didn't care either way, and my OB is a good friend and made sure he was comfortable before, during, and after.

[Lisa]

eh as far as I know he didn't care one way or the other. I admit I did it to Robert because it was the norm. I'll probably do it again if I have a son.

[off-kilter]

My husband told me that when he first heard of circumcision, he went home and tried to figure out what they cut off. Since his was already gone, he was quite puzzled! He doesn't mind being circ'd, but he doesn't see reason to do it to any sons. Since he didn't have it in him to get the dog's ears cropped, I can't say I'm surprised.

My father is uncirc'd and says he wishes he hadn't circ'd my brother on the doctor's say so. My brother, on the other hand, hasn't told me he's been troubled by it at all and has fathered some 5 children. I guess it still works.

[Beka]

Like Erika I live in a country where it just doesn't happen outside of religious or medical needs so it was never really an issue for us and therefore David doesn't have any issues about not being circ'd as it would seem odd for him to be circ'd rather than not as we're not Jewish nor Muslim. Neither of our boys had it done simply because in england the subject only comes up if there's a religious or medical need.

Actually until i started to frequent american parenting boards i truly didn't realise it was a routine thing in other countries.

[Jurgita]

I have similar views to you Kristen. But I am glad that circumcision is not the norm over here in Ireland. James is circ'ed. His mother badgered the doctors as she was paranoid about hygiene. He is laidback about it as he doesn't know what it is to be intact.

We won't be circ'ing any sons we may have. I am pretty much against piercing baby and children's ears so I am definately not going to be circumcising my newborn son :giggle

But to me, it isn't a big issue. There are much more important things to get worked up about - abuse, neglect, proper nutrition even.

Me too! I feel the same way. Circumcision is not common here at all. They don't even offer to you in the hospital. If you want it, go find private doctor who would do that and pay lots of money to do that.
John is circ'ed, but just because it's very common in Philippines, and he is ok with that, but we decided that we don't want our sons to be circumcised.

[Cyndi]

Dave has no problem with being circ'd. Actually, I only know of one male that is NOT circ'd. Like others have said, there are too many other things to be concerned about.

[Joni]

This is pretty much us, too. Duncan is circ'd, and said Aidan would be too. I didn't care either way, and my OB is a good friend and made sure he was comfortable before, during, and after.

This is us, too. I've asked Dave in the past if he cares that he was circumsized, and he said, "No, why would I?" He's perfectly happy the way he is.

[Christi]

Chris is circ'd and doesn't really think about it one way or the other. It is very much the norm here too. I let him make the final decision, but I was leaning toward circumcision because that is really all I'd ever known about.

With Adam, we didn't have a choice. The foreskin had to be used to repair his hypospadia.

[Shana]

As with all other parenting related issues, I think this is a personal decision to be made by the parents, and is really no one else's business. I don't recall discussing our decision with parents or friends or relatives. I can't imagine why we would have done so.

For the record -- I'm not sure about Brian, as it's never come up (and we have no plans to have a son of our own). Mike has always assured me he is fine with his. And Kaleb, who is 16? I am not about to ask him LOL

[Marzipan]

For the record -- I'm not sure about Brian, as it's never come up


I'm sorry, but the unintended pun here has me cracking up.

[Kristen]

:lmao Marci!!!

[Jenny]

okay..skipping through ALL the answers here myself

my husband IS circ'd and our son ISN'T. My husband wished he could have made this decission for himself, but that there is no point dwelling over that now.

[giffy]

When my husband was born, being circumcised was very much the norm, and his parents are the kind that take the doctor's word as gospel and would have done whatever was advised. Interestingly, he has a brother 11 years younger who is, I understand (never having seen it for myself:wink ) not circumcised because by the time he was born, it had fallen from favour. I don't think either of them have any reson to wish their penises were anything other than the way they are.

Our sons, however, are not circumcised. It isn't done routinely here, and you have to ask and pay for it separately. When our eldest was born, my husband asked me to inquire about it of the hospital staff. Well, I asked, but I couldn't bring myself to ask someone to do that to my freshly born baby that we left well enough alone.

They look enough like their father as it is.