Being a working mom - is it worth it?

[Brooke]

What do you think? Is it worth it? How do you even judge that - money, time, effort, quality time with the kiddos? Have you ever been a SAHM? Which do you prefer?

[Christi]

I think it is worth it, in that I get down and depressed if I don't have some adult interaction for a while. I also derive some of my self worth from doing well at my job. Being as I am a 4th generation working mom, I think that it is 'in the genes' now!

I have the best of both worlds...I get to be home when my kids are home, but work too. One of the perks of the job I hold!

[Danielle]

For me, it's definitely worth it.

Ideally, I'd like to work 3 days per week until they're a bit older but that's not an option right now so I have to deal with what I've got :D.

Like Christi, I need the adult interaction and I need to be "Danielle", not just "moooooooommmmmm" :giggle.

[Kristen]

No! I would SO much rather not be a working mom. The way I see it, working just adds to my work load. It's not like while I'm working, someone else is around homeschooling the kids, doing laundry, making dinner, and running errands. I still have to do all of that stuff on top of working and I hate that.

But, right now, we are stuck. Hopefully once we finish up our house and sell it and move, I can quit working, and I will be a very happy mama.

[Lisa]

For now it's worth it because I have no choice. Dh in school and working part time doesn't leave much options. I grew up in a family where my mom worked. It worked for us then and right now is working for us. I may at one time try SAHM but I'm not sure I could do it. I commend those who can without going insane LOL

Lisa

[Christi]

I may at one time try SAHM but I'm not sure I could do it. I commend those who can without going insane LOL

Lisa

Oh, ITA Lisa! I enjoy my summers and have enjoyed having a few snow days last week, but I'm ready to get back to it or else I may throttle my boys!!

[Val]

Ohhh- I would LOVE to go back to work. I'm a much better mom when I'm working. Right now it's an issue of daycare for 2 young kids vs. the pay I would get, and dh's inability to help.

[Polly]

Hmmm....depends totally on the personality of the mom and the financial situation. I'm happy being a SAHM but I'll still have dreams where I'm teaching. Yes, I miss it. I look at my mother. Peggy (my mom) worked because she wanted to and because she made more money than my dad. Pretty progressive for the 70's. I would not have wanted her to stay home. She doesn't cook-she microwaves, she wouldn't do crafts, sports, or games. Poor coordination and lack of interest. Instead, she worked on Capitol Hill for a congressman and loved her job. If she had stayed home with me, I think I would have been driven totally insane by her reading Time and Newsweek to me all the time. (She did that with some regularity.) I love my mom and the freedom of choice that she represented. I'm lucky-I get to choose and wouldn't trade that for anything.

Polly

[Tracy]

I want to stay home with our girls. Right now it isn't possible because I make a large portion of our income. I don't get to spend enough quality time with the girls. I get home around 530ish...cook dinner, eat, give them baths, get them ready for bed, quiet time for them, then they are in bed by 8. The weekends are when I clean house, get errands done, etc...
Growing up, my mom was a SAHM. I loved having my mom home with us. Rich grew up in a single parent home and his mom was always at work so his grandmother took care of him most of the time. He just doesn't quite seem to get why I want to stay home with the girls. Sometimes I wonder if the discipline issues, attitude, and tantrums would be better if I was able to spend more time with the girls. I know part of it is typical preschooler/toddler behavior, but sometimes I just wonder if it could be better.

[MathSpeak]

Um... I like working. It keeps me "active"... I LOVE intellectual pursuits... I love my toddler too, but the new job gives me TONS of time with her... add that to the fact that I'm a single mama and you get the picture... This is what I have to do, but it helps that I want to do it as well... I had dreams as a child... to be an investment banker... and they didn't stop just because I had a child.

[Heather]

I think it all depends on the individual. Did anyone watch Oprah the other day? They were talking about similar stuff and rattling off statistics and what not.

Anyway, I think it depends largely on each family. We all know I wasn't the happiest camper when I was working ;). But a lot of that was environment and the rest of it was Me, with that need to be home with my kids. Now that I'm home with them.. things run a lot better than they ever did before. Steve's happier, the kids are all happy and benefiting from me being home, and most important... I'm a million times happier than I've been in a long time and that's a big deal for me. I handle things totally different, I am more laid back about a lot of stuff.. and most important... I use the term "ugh! I'm sooooo stressed out right now!" once in a blue moon as opposed to every 5 minutes :D. I was afraid to take the leap and quit my job, but it was the best thing I've done in a long time ;).

So, in conclusion, LOL I would like to say that my point(I swear I'm getting to it) is that for Our family, in particular, NO..me working is Not worth it. For my cousin, however, it IS worth it for her family. She does it all..works full time, school, 2 kids, husband, house, dogs, vacations.. you name it. And she thrives in that kind of stuff and has said how she needs to work for her sanity.

I do think it is worth it, for many people, for many different reasons. But if it's not right for you, then it's worth it for you to be home with your family.

[Lori]

It is definitely worth it for me. I get depressed and anxious when I'm not working, and that's not good for anyone. When I was a full-time SAHM I got a lot less done around the house than I do now working PT. I'm in a very fortunate situation where I only have to spend 6 hours a week actually out of the house working, and I'm able to spend a lot of time with Thomas, too. But if I didn't have that time where I'm with my students and talking about intellectual reading and writing with a bunch of smart people, I'd start to feel very depressed.

[Beka]

for me no it wasn't - i've never worked full time, only ever been a sahm or worked job share with my mother or David as David is obsessed with the kids having a sahp (or family only daycare) however i honestly found for the limited financial gains it gave us it wasn't worth the sacrifice of others spending more time with me than my kids. I preferred being at home as i wasn't able to switch off from work when returning to the family environment and it was having a negative effect so much so in 2002 when pg with Jude i signed over my business as i really didn't want nor need the stress of a small business in a dying industry whilst pregnant

I personally am happier at home with the kids, financially we make alot of lifestyle sacrifices (no car, a lot of on going debt, no social life, no fancy clothes etc) to enable that to happen but i am happier. I can however understand why others need and want to work in many cases.

I think the reason i am happy to be a sahm is the fact i have never been fighting for a position on the career ladder and also i do try and keep myself up to date on current events and constantly try to further my knowledge so i don't end up feeling like i am living in a vacuum or a state of "baby brain"

[Lori]

To answer another part of the original question, I used to think the idea of "quality time" was b.s., but I've totally changed my mind about that, after being a (very bad) full-time SAHM. I now think that, while quantity isn't irrelevant, "quality time" IS important. I discovered when I was home FT and very depressed, that you can spend 24 hours a day with your child and yet be completely emotionally absent from them. For me, it's a matter of choosing between having a full day of "quantity time" with Thomas where I am so unhappy with my life that I don't want to connect with anyone, or having to devote a few hours a day to working (between being in class and doing course prep) and having Thomas in preschool each morning so I can do that, and having some actual "quality time" with him when I'm around him.

I do think it's a cop-out to imagine that your child is getting all they need from you if you work 16-hour days and spend 10 minutes with them before bed at night, but at the same time I don't think that it's necessarily better to spend as much time as you can possibly afford to spend with them. Even if I financially could stay home, after the first six months or a year of being home with a baby, I'd still choose to work, because otherwise my time with my kids would not be good for any of us.

But, that's just true for me. Obviously different people need different things.

[Beka]

totally agree with Lori on that point- as a SAHM i know several miserable sahm's how see no value in it and therefore the 24 hours a day they spend with their child is relatively worthless because they really resent being there- in that scenerio they'd definately be better off with a working mother who felt fulfilled and returned home to enjoy a happy 3/4 hours prior to bedtime and enjoyed weekends with their child.

[Shana]

I was a SAHM for 15 years and I far preferred being a SAHM to working. Fortunately I do work from my home, so I still have that daily hourly contact with my kids BUT if given a choice? If I had the choice? I would stop working, immediately ;)

[Onyx]

It's not like I ever had the choice *shrugs* I will always work though, although I'd like to not have to work SO much, or have to pinch pennies so hard :P

[Corey]

Personally, I love my job ... but I know I wouldn't want to work if I had to do anything else. It just wouldn't be worth it to me then. I have been a SAHM for 11+ years and I actually prefer having my own business now, though I did put it on hold until my kids were a little older.

Doing what I do is totally worth it to me - it gives me a ton of flexibility, enabling me to be home with the kids, take time off when I need it, etc. but it is also an "outlet". It's something just for me, something I LOVE that makes me happy. :)