View Full Version : Is it possible to love someone without knowing them?
Is it possible to really love someone without really knowing them (like love at first sight)? Or, to put it another way, how well do you think you have to know someone before you can genuinely say that you love them?
Danielle
03-25-2007, 05:35 PM
Love... no, I can't imagine that you can love someone without ever seeing/speaking to them.
That being said, I think you can know pretty quickly after meeting someone that they are the type of person you could grow to love and true love can develop in a relatively short period of time.
Jejune
03-25-2007, 05:49 PM
I think you can love someone as a person without seeing them in person. In the case of romantic love, though, I don't really think so, as that is a combination of love and attraction, and you can be attracted to someone's raw personality without being at all physically interested or compatible. But I love some of my online friends whom I've not met in person, and I think I can love them as friends, because I love their personalities and I don't need to be physically attracted to my friends. LOL
off-kilter
03-25-2007, 06:18 PM
I think that you can have "chemistry" and be infatuated with a person without knowing them too well. But to actually love someone instead of loving your *idea* of them means you have to get to know them, though that doesn't have to be "in person" to happen.
I can't judge that because there are so many forms of love,so many people view love in different ways etc etc If someone tells me they loved their partner at first sight I will take their word for it because I do not get to judge what love means to them.
I love many many people in many different ways. I loved Tom on date number 2. It doesn't begin to touch on the love I have for him now but I loved him. It may have been a more shallow love than it is now but it was still love. I don't think I can answer the question because there are sooo many degrees of love,so many definitions of love and it doesn't matter to what degree you love someone,it is still love.
Also as a spiritualist I think you can instantly love someone because of a deep soul connection. But I will go into that more in the morning.
ColleenC
03-25-2007, 07:22 PM
No I don't think you can. I think you can totally LUST after someone that you just met, but not the deep love that comes with getting to know someone over a longer period of time and knowing all their quirks and yet still loving them.
On the whole I agree with Sam, about there being different kinds of love. I think it's possible to feel some kinds of love with people you've never met, or just met. I think that you can love, for example, a family member's new baby, even though you obviously don't know that baby.
But when people talk about love at first sight, it seems to always be regarding romantic love, and I don't think that that kind of love is possible without knowing someone. I don't know how much you'd have to know someone to get to that point, but I think you'd definitely have to do more than just see them or briefly chat with them.
I feel like, even with Thomas, there's the kind of instinctual, biological love I've always felt for him and has remained pretty constant, and then a more specific love I have for him--based on the person I'm getting to know he is--that is different from that. The one is the love I feel for him because he's my child, and the other is the love I feel for him because he's Thomas, the unique human being.
I don't think it's really, truly possible to love someone you don't know at all but I do believe it's possible to love someone without having met them in person, just after talking with them by phone or computer. Case in point: me and dh. :D We spoke by phone for around three hours EVERY NIGHT for months before we met in person. By the time we met face-to-face I knew about everything there was to know about him so the in-person meeting was just a formality. :)
Jurgita
03-26-2007, 01:33 AM
Love... no, I can't imagine that you can love someone without ever seeing/speaking to them.
That being said, I think you can know pretty quickly after meeting someone that they are the type of person you could grow to love and true love can develop in a relatively short period of time.
I agree!
No I don't think you can. I think you can totally LUST after someone that you just met, but not the deep love that comes with getting to know someone over a longer period of time and knowing all their quirks and yet still loving them.
yep i agree with that- although you can be infactuated, lust whatever i think love is alot lot deeper and has to develop over time spent together, as David puts it loving someone is not about the things you like about them it's about being able to live with the things you hate about them too (only he puts it far better than that and i can't think straight as it's damned early, i hardly got any sleep and the clocks went forwards overnight as well- arrgghhhh)
yep i agree with that- although you can be infactuated, lust whatever i think love is alot lot deeper and has to develop over time spent together, as David puts it loving someone is not about the things you like about them it's about being able to live with the things you hate about them too (only he puts it far better than that and i can't think straight as it's damned early, i hardly got any sleep and the clocks went forwards overnight as well- arrgghhhh)
Again,we all define love differently. I can love someone I don't even like LOL I don't think you can love someone on a deep level straight away because that kind of love does take time. I just don't think anyone gets to answer the question for anyone but themselves because your idea of love and someone elses can be totally different.
I personally agree that for ME I need to know someone to love them on a deep level but if someone tells me they loved their partner straight away then I believe them because it is their definition of love that matters.