Do you know any families IRL that have special needs children?

[Jo]

Are you comfortable including them in your life? Does the child's special needs seem intimidating and confusing?

[Beka]

Chase has always been in class with a boy who has ADHD and is autistic- he was also a crack baby so to be fair the poor guy didn't get the best of starts, he also hears voices (for which he is now medicated) and he is raised by his granny.

He is a part of our lives as not only has he been a classmate of Chase's for nearly 7 years now his gran is also the daycare provider for my cousin (she does daycare from her home to enable her to be a stay at home parent) which means all our family functions & parties they are invited to as well as they are more or less family.

Charlie (the little boy) thinks Chase is his party-friend as his birthday a couple of years back over a dozen people said they'd attend but only Chase and another girl showed up, add to that the fact every family party he goes to Chase is there he thinks Chase is his party-going friend. We're the only family who ever invited him to kid-birthday parties in their early years too as other parents saw him as "problem" rather than special needs which makes me really sad as he's a lovely kid, just more work than most to occupy.

Chase has a few other SN classmates but we don't really have much interaction with them outside of school (although in school i do in my role as a parent gov.)

Jude is the "high needs" child in his class but i don't like that label- he's just got more energy than he has room in his body and a very fast working mind which churns out too many ideas making him very talkative and bouncy enthusiastic.

We spent the first year of my eldest nephews life believing him to be deaf and as an extended family learning to baby-sign and learn about deaf culture, he was born several weeks early and failed all hearing tests- it wasn't until almost 1 they confirmed he could hear and they believe him to be part of the tiny tiny % of preemies born with hearing loss where the nerve damage actually self repairs - took alot of research to realise it does exist and it actually had happened, meant we spent a year as a family accepting we were now a family involved in the deaf community (as sil was initially devestated and really couldn't see how he'd ever intergrate etc so we all went all out to ensure his cousins would be able to communicate with him knowing that would be a big gateway for him to intergrate with hearing children- we even looked for a nursery & school where he could attend with Dylan and be in the same class with her filling the void for interpretting so he could school mainstream)

[wendygrace]

Other than my sister, no. We know noone else who's kid, as far as I know, has special needs. But we don't really have many IRL friends and I do need to work on that.

[Val]

Do you know any families IRL that have special needs children? Yep

Are you comfortable including them in your life? Yes, for the most part. Physical agresion is really the only thing that has bothered me.

Does the child's special needs seem intimidating and confusing? It depends on the child. The majority are special needs I am comfortable with. although it's easier to say that once you know the child and the parents. BUT- I will admit there are other cases that I am intimidated by. Those are kids where you never know what to expect. For example, there is an autistic boy in C's sunday school class and he flips so easily that it's easy to wonder if it's something you said or did that upset him and feel really bad about it.

[Tamika]

Yes - my cousin has various special needs. When he was born we discovered he has spina bifida - subsequent to that he develped hydrocephalus. He has all the physical handicaps that spina bifida causes - he cannot walk etc (but boy does he have biceps!!!!) he has bowel issues because of it etc. And due to the hydrocephalus and brain damage that occured before treatment for that and while in utero he has extreme learning disabilities. He is 19 and has the mentality of a 10 year old.

As for including him - he IS family and we accept him for who he is. Yes, his needs are confusing for those who are new to his environment, and very intimidating when a conversation with him doesn't go the way you'd expect, but they are him. We can't change that, just accept it.

[Christine]

So strange. I went past this thread several times thinking that the only special needs children I knew were the ones with speech issues - which I wouldn't necessarily classify as special needs. Although Kailyn and her peers do have some struggles, it's not quite the same.

Then I realized that there is a little girl that's in our circle of friends who has developmental delays and is in extensive therapy for them. I guess I don't really think of her as special needs, she's just an extremely sweet and loving little girl who acts differently than other kids her age. She's actually Nicole's age but her and Danielle get along beautifully. And, yes, she is included in many activities that we're a part of and the kids all accept her as they do every other kid. They're still trying to diagnose her but what they do know is that she had a lack of oxygen at birth that led to several severe seizures in her early years. Now she has the speech capabilities of a very young child, but is physically as active as a 5 year old. She has excellent gross motor skills, but her fine motor skills aren't there. She's a sweetheart and just loves anyone that treats her well.

At first, I was a little uncomfortable around her because she is very affectionate and demanding of attention, but that passed pretty quickly when I was taken in by her charm. Her needs don't seem the least bit intimidating anymore. The only time I really notice them is when her mom is talking about her struggles with her.

[Danielle]

Yes. I used to babysit a girl (she's now 24) who is intellectually delayed (MR at that time) and we still keep in touch. She adores my kids and she's a sweetheart! She lives with her parents at present but is transitioning to an assisted living apartment soon. She's high functioning but needs support in order to ensure she makes good choices and doesn't get taken advantage of.

[Desirae]

Here in Florida no. Back in WI I nannied for a girl who had feeding issues and delays due to drug abuse during the pregnancy. She's grown out of most of her special needs now. I have never had problems or been intimidated because I'm used to special needs children, my family took in 56 foster babies and the majority of them had MAJOR medical needs. Our family has had several friends with special needs or with children with special needs.

[Kami]

Yes, I know several kids with Special Needs. I actually dated a guy that had a 6 year old with Down Syndrome. THe little boy was a sweetheart and we included him as much as possible.

I grew up knowing several Special Needs kids and never really thought to much about them being different. It was never made out to be a huge deal or pain and they were always included in things. We always tried to make them feel welcome and as normal as possible. The one thing that has alwasy bothered me is the aggression they show and I know that it probably stems from frustration and not understanding how to deal with things properly.

[TracyS]

My step son has a form of autism. We don't see him much because of his mother, but when we do it's only in short stints. Dh can visit him alone, but he (SS) doesn't really connect with him at all & just wants to sit & play his video games (thats how his mother deals with him, when she isn't just letting him run wild).

If he's out with our full family, it can only be for short periods because he gets upset the other kids get their dads attention as well & tends to act out conducting "experiements" that arn't safe for us, the kids or our poor cats (tried to cut off ones tail once "to see what would happen").

Would allergies count as "special needs"? If so then we have a daughter who has severe food allergies.

[Jo]

I think severe food allergies definitely count. That is a real health issue that requires a lot of work and planning. What kind of allergies does she have?

[jane]

I like christie , thought i had nothing to cotribute to this thread and then tonight realizzed that I do - we just treat himlike one of the kids
.
one of my postnatal groups children is special needs , it has been odd as we all met when our babies were 6 weeks old and his special needs weren't eveident then.

gradually as time went on his disability becamemore and more pronounced, as they learned to crawl,walk talk etc patrick didn't , Its just something we accept - he has seizures too and only a few of us have witnessed one .

he is still just one of the kids , he is standing now which is amazing becuase there was a doubt that he would , we don't see him very often because he goes to a special needs school but he is always oicluded in everything we arrange.

[lynn3780]

Are you comfortable including them in your life? Does the child's special needs seem intimidating and confusing?

Yes, I do!! Ours!! Our family is filled with special needs children and adults. All of my sil's are special needs, some with learning disabilities and some with physical disabilities including celebral palsy and FAS. My bil is FAS with retardation. My own hubby also has learning disabilties. I grew up with them so I am totally comfortable with them and it just seems like a way of life.

They are not intimidating or confusing. They can be scary and sometimes annoying. But we love them anyways. Because thats just them!

We also spend time around other special needs children and adults since my bil plays special olympics sports.

[jennepenn]

Yes, my cousin has a daughter that just turned 10 last week. When Nicole was in labor with her they waited to long to perform a c-section on her and Samantha didn't get enough oxygen and she is menatlly handipcapped. She cannot control her mouth and speech. She has the mental capacity of a 4 year old. She is a beautiful girl and when you are around her you can't help but smile and you can totally understand her speech if you are around her enough. She will always be young though. It's not hard to include her as she is in our family. The girls still are a bit awkward around her but it's more that they can't understand her. She is very touchy with them too and it freaks them out. LOL Sam likes to smother them with hugs and wet kisses. LOL