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Intuition
03-22-2007, 03:57 PM
... and I already feel like an awful mother! I can not settle on a name for this poor boy.

With our first son, we had a list of 10 girls and boys names that we brought to the hospital with us (induction due to pre-e), but threw them all out when we looked into his eyes for the first time. We named him James, which was never even a consideration beforehand. He just was James.

DH wouldn't settle on many names before this baby was born, because he really became a believer on meeting the baby first, which was fine with me. We had another pretty good list of names for either sex, and I was pretty happy with it. I have to admit I was fairly set on Liam for a boy, but popularity bugged me a little. When I decided that I would use it despite all that, I looked into his eyes, and he was not a Liam.

Well, I had a long recovery. I was in the hospital for a week after the section (which I really need to write about, to get it all out) and we had the list on a post-it on the bassinet. Nurses and doctors and family and friends all weighed in, and it was a fun thing. I was there from Sunday to Friday. I kept picking him up and looking at him, asking him to tell me his name.

DH seemed to be set on William. The most conventional name on the list. We tried it out for a few days, and everyone kind of assumed we had chosen it, but it never felt right to me. We came home, and kept calling him William. Mike came back over to work here in Vancouver, while I stayed and recuperated some more at my parents' house. Well, I called him in tears the first night, saying that the baby just wasn't a William, and I ended up hanging up on him. Love those postpartum hormones.

I just wanted it to mean more, I guess. I look at him and see his beautiful eyes, which are the colour of the ocean in the rain; that beautiful, deep dark blue and grey. He was born 12 days late, making him a Pisces like my son. The nurse, after I had wept for a very long time upon finding out about the caesarean, told me that my boys must not want to come out since they love the water so much, being Pisces. So I'm looking at this boy and thinking, hmm, a water theme is pretty strong here.

I go home and look up some names. I find a lot, but really the only ones that I find that DH doesn't hate are Dylan and Ronan. I start calling the baby Dylan, and it feels more of a fit to me. I always liked the name, but never enough to consider using it.

And I wonder... how ridiculous am I being, here? Should we just go with William, when DH has an attachment to it? It does seem that it's beginning to suit him. If I can't even decide, should I just let this one go? How important is a name, and the finding of it? Now I am at a point where I feel about the same about both names. I just don't know what the hell I am doing.

Another thing to consider is that our last name is Buckingham. Really fucking pretentious name, or no? Sheesh. And I'm just kind of indifferent to both names.

I need to post another long thread about life with two and how my c-section affected me and his birth and shit, because I am really in the midst of choas right now, and I am nervous here without friends and family to pull me out of the mud should I slide in again.

Jennee
03-22-2007, 04:08 PM
you are not an awful mother. it sounds like you are very upset about having a c section and that maybe its effecting you mentaly, like maybe you are starting to show some postpartum symptoms.
im sorry you are having such a hard time picking a name, im sure when you decide it will be absolutely perfect.
:hugs
i hope you feel better soon

Kristi
03-22-2007, 04:47 PM
Well I am biased But I think Dylan is a perfect name. :D I don't think you are ridiculous at all. You should be happy with the name you choose for your son. I hope you find a name that fits him perfectly. And that you are recuperating well. A csection is a hard thing to deal with when it is not expected nad not what you wanted. :hugs

Jenny
03-22-2007, 04:56 PM
I think William goes nicely with James and with your last name.

First off...HUGS!!!! If you need me to come out, give me a shout....maybe I should just impose and drop by ;)

hun...hugs hugs hugs

I am not too familiar with 'water' names.....

Polly
03-22-2007, 05:29 PM
Do not worry. I nameless for about 10 days. My parents couldn't agree on the type of name for me. My dad wanted something simple like Jane or to name me after his mom, Elizabeth. My mom likes......um....unusual things and names. I was almost Ilona or Amerantha. (DH thinks Amerantha sounds like some kind of fungus!) FYI-the name "Amerantha" was suggested by my mom's labor and delivery nurse. Apparently, my dad still hasn't forgiven her because they were *this* close to a name.

So, I was nameless until the night before they sent out my baby annoucements. They flipped a coin and I ended up with "Polly." Which I still hate, by the way. At least I have a decent middle name, Alexandra-after the last Czarina of Russia.

Polly

Kate
03-22-2007, 05:41 PM
Please don't feel bad...it's far better to wait and find the perfect name then to forever regret that you didn't.

Dylan and Ronan are both beautiful names though...maybe you could combine one of those with William, and then you've both got a name of your own choosing in there.

Erika
03-22-2007, 05:59 PM
:squeeze Tegan. Naming a child is a big deal so don't feel bad for not settling! And you are the one who bore him and gave birth to him so you are entitled to feel this way.

Dylan is a beautiful name. In fact all 3 of the names are. And think how well it goes with James ;) O and being a Pisces is fabulous. We are creative people who love water and dont' like to wear shoes!

Anyway, sorry I was so long gone earlier but Sasha really wouldn't settle, poor thing. Shall be around this weekend so if you would like a chat, I would love to meet up!

And Polly - I'm a lover of Alexandra as well (my daughter's name with Sasha being the nn variation of it we use). And my half sister is called Ilona - Hungarian for Helen (my dad is Hungarian).
I was nearly given a Hungarian name as well - Iboya :rolleyes Thankfully, they came up with Erika.

Sarah
03-22-2007, 06:38 PM
I don't have anything to say other than what's already been said. You are definitely NOT a bad mother! :hugs

Desirae
03-22-2007, 06:48 PM
:squeeze Tegan, you're a wonderful mum... THAT is why you care so much about having THE name. All three are beautiful.:hugs I hope you start to feel better soon. I understand not wanting the C-section. I still wish I could go back and change that for Aidan's birth. :(:squeeze:hugs:squeeze

Jejune
03-22-2007, 08:13 PM
Tegan, you're one of my favorite people, period. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. Your little guy will be fine even if he doesn't have a name for a little longer. If you need anything I can give, please let me know. I'm thinking about you.

Brooke
03-22-2007, 08:21 PM
:squeeze

SarahJ
03-22-2007, 11:47 PM
I don't have anything to add, but wanted to give you the hugest hugs and you KNOW that you are going to find the right name for your new son.
No matter how long it takes, or how many names you have to try out on him.

Please grab me on messenger if you need to talk! Oh and I can't wait to read the birth story and hear about everything that is going on with you. Vent away, my dear.

(hugs)

Beka
03-23-2007, 03:57 AM
It honestly does not matter- he's not going to remember it- i spent the first 5 weeks of my life (and the entirity of that time in hospital) as Amy-Rebecca, then my dad registered me Rebecca Amy and 27 years later the only reason i know that is because they told me! I don't think it's bad at all that you've not yet settled on a name- it shows you care because he's going to have it for the rest of his life so taking time over it is not a sign of a bad mother.

William is a lovely name, Dylan is a fabulous name (not that i'm biased LOL) Ronan is really great too- i honestly don't think you can go wrong, although you do have my sympathy on the surname issue- i hate they fall into types, ours is seen as quite unique and as a result i'd seem really odd if i went with traditional names, my sister is about to marry into a really common surname (Jones) and she's finding the same issue- only certain names sound right with such a straight forward surname as Jones.

You are not a bad mother at all- I let Chase chose middle names for all 3 of her siblings (and she chose Zidane, Marie and Auron - whether they thank her in later life is another issue).

Lori
03-23-2007, 07:51 AM
:squeeze I think that it would be totally fine, if the name issue is stressing you out on top of everything else, to just put the naming issue aside until you're feeling a little better about everything and have processed the birth. He's not going to remember when he was named or if he didn't have a name for a few weeks.